Concealed in Cut Glass
by Lily Bart
Summary: Dana Scully was killing herself, with deliberate even calculated forethought, and Fox Mulder was powerless to stop her.
1. Title Page

Title: Concealed in Cut Glass

Author: Lily Bart

Email: 

Summery: Dana Scully was killing herself with deliberate even calculated forethought.

Rating: M/R/NC-17

Genera: Family, Drama, MSR

Disclaimer: I do not own Mulder, Scully the X Files or any characters associated with Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, or Fox Entertainment. I am receiving no financial compensation. I do it for the reviews so get on that you lazy readers!


	2. Chapter 1

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana Scully was killing herself, with deliberate even calculated forethought, and Fox Mulder was powerless to stop her. Although Lord knows he had tried. He reasoned with her, shouted at her, grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, and when all else failed made furious love to her, hoping to engender the faintest stirring of selfishness, or the smallest desire to stay with him, to choose him, choose life.

He looked across the hospital waiting room at the woman who had held his obsession for as long as he could remember. He thought about all of the sacrifices he blamed her for. She fidgeted under his gaze, suppressing her treacherous guilt. He tried not to hate her. No, no it wasn't hate. It wasn't even pain yet. It was cold penetrating fear that he was loosing the woman he held above all else.

Events had culminated so quickly. Had it even been a week since Thanksgiving? Mulder looked at his watch. It was set 9:45AM Greenwich mean time December 1, 2000.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Zoë Frazure was a vision of appropriate excitement, dressed in a baby blue wrap sweater and navy pencil skirt, a suitable girlfriend for the family's golden boy.

"It's lovely to meet you," the tall slender woman said in an unmistakably British accent as she kissed Maggie Scully squarely on the lips.

"And this is my brother Bill." Charlie ushered her to the next family member.

"Nice to meet you." Bill stopped her forward movement with a handshake.

"Charlie has told me so much about you." The young woman beamed.

"All fabrications," Bill replied.

"Not at all. He adores his elder brother."

"His wife Tara," Charlie continued. Zoë embraced Bill's wife. "And my sister Dana."

"Hello," Dana greeted her brother's friend, scolding herself for not inviting Mulder. So much had changed between them recently and until she had thought everything through, laid the groundwork, prepared her mother she preferred to keep him away.

"Ah, yes. The one who took you to your secondary school dance." Zoë teased Charlie as they all moved into Maggie's living room.

"So Charlie, where did you two meet?" Dana asked.

"In London, at a charity event at the Drury Lane." Charlie took a seat on the couch and motioned for Zoë to join him. She was a mystery to him. He noticed the impression she meticulously crafted for his family, a far cry from the uninhibited, wild creature who had seduced him in a coat closet the night they met.

"You go to charity events?" Dana asked.

"Commander Pinkney couldn't make it so he sent me," Charlie admitted.

"And are you from London?" Tara took a winged back chair across from Bill.

"She's from Cornwall," Charlie answered for her.

"No, I'm not. My family is from Cornwall. I live in London now," Zoë clarified.

"London, that's an expensive city," Bill remarked hoping to find out this young woman's economic suitability.

"Indeed it is." Her reply was not helpful. "I want to help with Thanksgiving dinner, Mrs. Scully. We don't have Thanksgiving in England and I'm terribly excited." Her cell phone rang and she cringed knowing that the company would think her rude but she dare not let it ring. "Excuse me." She flipped the phone open. "Hello…" Her face brightened. "What are you like you old slapper?…No…Oh no. I don't know…I'll see…Maybe…ok but don't count on us or anything…ok…shag you later." Zoë shut her phone fearing that her conversation revealed more than could possibly be in her favor.

"And?" Charlie asked.

"It's my friend Katie…She's presenting an award at the Kennedy Center. She invited us to the do she's throwing after."

"Katie?" Charlie was familiar with Zoë's impressive social life.

"Winslet," she said, although she did not want to divulge personal details yet.

"You want to go?" Charlie's eagerness was obvious.

"If you want. I am here to relax and meet your family. Katie can wait."

"No, we should go. It could be fun," Charlie encouraged.

"Charlie has a thing for Kate Winslet," Dana taunted her younger brother.

"Don't we all." Zoë smiled.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana woke late in the night to a door slamming accompanied by yelling. She got up and walked to the front of the house.

"What the hell is going on?" Bill was in the living room insinuating himself into the thick of things.

"This is none of your business Bill!" Charlie yelled. He and Zoë had returned from the late night celebrity party.

Zoë the sweet, compliant young lady of that afternoon was statuesque and formidable standing in the center of the room. "Enough with your goddamned double standard! You were the man fucking me in that cloakroom, Charlie! You wanted to go back to my flat! Why, why did you stay that weekend?!? What do you want from me?!?" Her formal dress and carefully arranged hair while perfect for an awards party contrasted with the commonplace surroundings. "How dare you blame me for the things we did together!"

"I didn't say that. I don't want anything from you. I'm not blaming anyone. Calm down." Charlie took a step to her but he realized that he had said the wrong thing.

Zoë lunged for him nails bared with rage. "DON'T EVER TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" He evaded and she stumbled falling to the floor. "Charlie." Her voice was softer. "Help me, please." Dana noticed that Zoë had begun to tremble. "My medicine is in my bag," she implored.

Charlie disappeared and in a flash returned with a syringe. As a doctor it occurred to Dana that she should do something but Charlie responded too quickly and adeptly. He cradled Zoë in his lap, stretched out her left arm and tied off her vein with a tunicate. He pushed the needle in and depressed the plunger. Scully observed Zoë stop shaking, in fact all of her muscles relaxed. "She has bipolar disorder. She's manic depressive," Charlie answered Bill and Dana's bewildered expressions. "From time to time she has these little melt downs."

"Little melt down?" Bill asked. Zoë's head rested against Charlie's chest and in that instant he grew up in Dana's eyes. Her tatty headed little brother had grown so strong and protective?

"Make them understand Charlie," Zoë whispered. She wrapped her arms around him and he stood holding her like a small child. Five minutes ago she had been an intimidating force and now she was no more than a vulnerable slip of a girl. Dana wondered at what an intoxicating combination Charlie must find all of these contradictions. "Don't let them be afraid. Please don't let them be afraid of me." Dana heard her plead with Charlie as carried her away.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	3. Chapter 2

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Look, look at who she is!" Bill demanded over coffee and doughnuts the next morning.

"I know who she is Bill." Charlie said checking his temper. Dana was curious. She and Maggie peeked over at Bill's laptop sitting on the kitchen counter. He had pulled up the web site for The UK's Esquire, well known as a men's magazine. There was a provocative picture of Zoë, what in the business they would call an artistic nude but which Bill would classify as pornography. She was sitting up in a bed arms and legs folded to hide the female parts of her anatomy. Her lips were parted in a scandalously seductive expression. Below it an interview was posted.

I: Did you ever think _Curiosity Shop _would be such a success?

Z: Oh, you never know a thing like that. You go to the audition and if you get the job you make a show and hope it's good. It really takes quite a while to know if it will catch on.

I: Well are you surprised that it is the number one rated show on the BBC?

Z: Yes and no. It's a quirky little show so I wasn't sure whom it would appeal to, but at the end of the day it has such talented writers and technicians. It really has a very high production standard. So in that sense I'm not surprised at all.

I: So the big cliffhanger this season is that your character, Mischa was impregnated with the child of Satan. Is there anything you can tell us about the resolution of that plot line?

Z: No. Well ok I will go ahead and say that as far as I know it is decided that she will have the baby. No fortunate miscarriage or anything. I think that the baby will be written out of the weekly episodes in a way that the writers can still return to the subject and do something really emotional and scary later, maybe an Omen parody.

I: Was this little plot twist timed to coincide with a personal blessed event?

Z: No, no, not at all. I guess that happens a lot. An actress gets pregnant and when she has the nerve to do that while working on a TV show the writers have to do something. But in this case no. They just thought a devil baby would be good for the arc of the show.

I: Now on the subject of your certain handsome co-star. Are any of the rumors true?

Z: Which ones? (laughing) The ones where I am throwing props at him and shouting, "Get outta my life!" Or the ones where we are caught naked in the dressing room?

I: Both.

Z: (laughing) I don't know. I guess actors tend to disrespect personal boundaries. He and I are very playful. Sometimes it's a little over friendly and sometimes we fight like brother and sister but I think mostly it gets taken out of context and exaggerated.

I: So what was the context of that snog at the BAFTAs?

Z: We both just won BAFTAs you have to snog someone or they take them back. It's in the fine print.

I: Do you believe that your characters will ever be linked romantically?

Z: I don't know. That's a question for the writers. I do think that there is a reason that Micsha and Youree are not biologically related even though they grew up together. I think that is for the promise of or maybe the eventual intention that they could fall in love. But those are just my thoughts. I'm not the writer. I think this last season the characters have discovered that they can't have normal relationships with other people. Their lives are just too unusual and too consumed with the curse.

I: Ok now back to the personal stuff. Your name has been linked with several eligible men recently. If you are not clicking with your Daniel McMaynard are you currently dating anyone specific?

Z: Not exactly. Work keeps me so busy. Really, you have no idea. And the time I do have for my personal life and family I like to keep to myself. So when there is an event or something, when I need a plus one, Daniel and I go together. The fans love it.

I: Yes but Daniel McMaynard is far from the circles you've been seen in. It was rumored that you were seeing Crown Prince Raham Adkiem.

Z: (laughs) No, no not at all. I was working with UNICEF and he invited us to a ball at his palace. There is really no more to the story than that.

I: Yes there is quite a bit more. It was your appearance at the UNICEF ball in Washington that got tongues wagging.

Z: Yes he did invite me to that ball as well. But no there is nothing going on between us. There can never be. He has several wives and children. I admire him greatly. He's an exceptional man. I believe the country will thrive under his leadership. He will always have my support and devotion. I very much hope to continue working with UNICEF although probably not again until after _Curiosity Shop _is over.

I: And you have also done some work for the Trevor Foundation recently.

Z: Yes I was in a short run of _The Vagina Monologues. _The proceeds went to the Trevor Foundation a charity for gay and questioning teens. I'm not sure many people are aware that they are three times more likely to attempt suicide. I find that a disturbing statistic especially among kids.

I: So you support the gay and lesbian community?

Z: Well, I have always supported the lesbians, but the gay men just don't want me.

I: (laughing) And now on to your current projects. Tell us about your new movie.

Z: Yes last time the show was on hiatus I made an independent called _Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll. _It's scheduled for release this summer. It's a look into the lives of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and really centers around the competition between them.

I: Yes and it is rumored that you bare breasts in the movie.

Z: Yes, yes quite true. You know I didn't think it would be that big of a deal in this country, maybe in America but usually nudity isn't that shocking over here.

I: It is when someone really hot does it.

Z: Yes that was quite a day on the set. All of the guys were a little Wooo! Hooo!

I: Did that bother you?

Z: No not really. I think most men are that way when tits come out. I am ashamed to say I find it kind of flattering.

I: And you just set the women's movement back a hundred years.

Z: (Laughs) Yes I know. Sorry Margaret Thatcher.

I: Well we wish you the best of luck with the show and the new movie.

Z: Thank you. It's been a pleasure

Although they read the same article Bill and Dana gleaned entirely different perspectives about it's subject. Bill focused on the provocative pictures and the intimations about Zoë's promiscuity, Dana on the actress's easygoing nature and charity work.

"I know she's a celebrity. I've seen her show; I've even met Daniel. Old news," Charlie said. Dana admired his audacity. She wished she were able to stand up to Bill as easily. She wanted to tell him off when he criticized Mulder but the deeply rooted fear that Bill might be right about her unconventional partner kept her in check.

"You have no idea what you are getting into. You know nothing about life with a British aristocrat. And what about last night?" Bill could be a bulldog.

"I don't care, Bill. Yes, she is eccentric. Life with her is interesting but she is kind and compassionate. She's an exceptional woman. I love her creativity and I even find her irreverent behavior refreshing," Charlie said.

"Oh please Charlie. Sell that shit somewhere else. Your being pussy whipped by a Grecian sex goddess." Bill crossed the line and both Maggie and Dana thought they might come to blows but somewhere over the two years he had been away in the Air Force Charlie had matured.

He laughed. "I'm not intimidated by her Bill. I'm man enough to handle any complications she can throw at me. And yeah I guess, in return for getting past all of the crap, I get to go to bed with her." Zoë had been at the door listening. She walked to Charlie and put an arm around him.

"I…uh…I am sorry Zoë. You weren't supposed to hear that," Bill back peddled.

"No need to apologize Bill. I consider 'Grecian sex goddess' a supreme compliment." Zoë was quite the chameleon Dana noted. First the wholesome girlfriend, then the stunning celebrity, last night the small, fragile victim and now casually dressed in jeans and a tee shirt her long tousled, spiraled hair cascading down her back, she was simply lovely.

"You better watch out though," Charlie said to Bill. "I'm the only one here vested with the authority to bestow that title on her."

"I thought we were being discrete?" Zoë said under her breath. "No offence Mrs. Scully, Charlie didn't tell me to lie or anything just be respectful."

"Discretion ended last night when you yelled, and allow me to quote, 'You were the man f-ing me in the cloakroom.'" It was obvious that Charlie was not really upset with her. Dana liked this new strong, sensitive side of her brother.

"Oh…I yelled that?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

"I didn't say f-ing did I?" Zoë blushed.

"No you were a bit more colorful," Charlie chuckled.

"I am sorry. You see what I mean now. With me there can be no discretion. Ever." Zoë warped her other arm around him and placed her head on his shoulder.

"You don't remember the things you say when you have an episode?" Dana asked. "Forgive my curiosity. I'm a doctor."

"No I don't. I sometimes say horrible things. I don't mean them. You have to believe that," Zoë answered. "And it is usually to the people I care for most."

"I know when not to listen," Charlie assured her.

"You are too good Charlie. Now I can say anything I want and you will only believe the good bits."

"No, I know the difference. Your pupils dilate when you are having an imbalance," Charlie explained.

"I don't mean to be indelicate here, Charlie," Bill stated but the battle lines were clearly drawn. "But think of having children. Zoë your condition would render you an unstable mother at best and what if it were passed to them?"

"Don't ever make judgments about my worth as a mother," Zoë took up the question. "And I can't have children biologically speaking. So there is no need to panic. There is no chance my wonky DNA will continue to another generation." Maggie, Bill and Dana stared openmouthed at her. "What have I said this time?"

Dana dared any of the others to speak, but finally she had to give in. "I think they are trying to say, welcome to the family. I can't have children either."

"Oh, Dana I am sorry." Zoë seemed more genuinely saddened by Dana's news than her own. "How long have you known?"

Normally Dana avoided discussing her infertility with anyone but somehow with this outrageous young woman she felt quite comfortable. "It's been a couple of years now. It's ok. I'm fine." Dana gathered her courage. She wanted to disclose events in her own life but feared the fall out. "Actually, I've been seeing a doctor."

"Dana are you alright." Tara stepped to her sister-in-law.

"Yes. I shouldn't even tell you. There's nothing to tell really." Dana weighed how far to take this conversation.

"Yes you should. I hate how secretive you are sometimes." Maggie both scolded and encouraged.

"Mulder and I are..." Dana considered her word choice. Involved did not seem specific enough, lovers a bit corny, she almost chose have become intimate but her mother caught on.

"You should have invited him." Maggie's eyes widened and she smiled.

"I know. I just wanted some space."

"You can't have been together that long and you're already 'needing space'." Bill jumped at any hope that there were problems with Mulder.

"No it's not that. It's me. I'm being…I don't know what I'm being." Although Dana had an idea that Mulder would be able to put his finger on the word with no trouble had he been there. "Please Mom don't overreact to this. It's nothing really. Nothing happened. I was told that there might be away for us to conceive. A few weeks ago we tried but it didn't work. That's all. Nothing really. Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Maggie wanted to hold her daughter but she knew that her comfort would only annoy Dana. "But you are together…and happy?"

"Yes." Dana gave a feeble smile.

"I can't believe you. You deliberately tried to impregnate yourself with this man's child? You could at least wait for him to marry you," Bill preached.

"Stop it Bill." Dana did not want to complicate her current tumultuous emotions pondering why he hadn't proposed or whether she wanted him to propose.

"I thought you cared about your career at the FBI. Isn't this less than professional behavior?" Bill would not drop it.

"I'd say more than professional."

"Beyond professional?" Maggie added for her daughter.

"Extra professional?" Zoe chimed in and Bill glared at her.

"I've always know how much he loves you." Maggie assured her daughter.

"I bet he's relieved it didn't work, dodged that fatherhood bullet," Bill said.

"Stop it Bill," Tara demanded. "Dana is your sister. Apologize!"

"I'm sorry Dana. That man scares me. It scares me that he is in your life. It's like you don't even see the danger," Bill explained more evenly.

"The damage is done Bill, and the danger never came from him." Dana did not care what Bill thought of her personal life. "And you're wrong. He wants to try again but I won't. I promise Mom, I'll invite him for Christmas. And you better make nice Bill."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	4. Chapter 3

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Well, what's the verdict? What did you think of your first Thanksgiving?" Tara asked at the kitchen sink where she was washing and Zoë was drying the fine china.

"Oh no it wasn't my first Thanksgiving," Zoë answered.

"They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Britain," Dana said, placing a plate of turkey in the fridge. Perhaps it was a side effect of her work but she remembered most things people told her.

"I'm American, kind of," Zoë explained. "When I was…" she searched her memory but no specific age came to her, "young, my family suffered a fatal car accident. The man who adopted me was British. I've lived there ever since. But I have a few memories of my other family, of Thanksgiving." Dana and Tara would have offered sympathy but the event had happened years ago and Zoë did not seem unsettled.

"Isn't it kind of unusual that you would have been adopted by someone from another country?" Tara asked and Dana was glad it saved her from prying.

"I don't know. I already knew him. He was a friend of our family. I think he worked with my dad. Although, you know, he never really talked about them or given me any mementoes from them. I guess that is kind of strange since he knew them so well," Zoë admitted. "I was only eight or so when it happened and I was very ill at the time." A forgotten or long repressed memory snapped into her mind. "They were coming to visit me in the hospital when they had the accident."

"Is that when your bipolar disorder presented? When you were sick in the hospital?" Dana asked. It seemed she and Tara had developed a system of taking turns in their questions.

"I don't know. I was just a kid and so much was going wrong with my body. I know I had an unusual virus and at one point cancer. All of the doctors believed I was dying. They tried several experimental treatments. I'm pretty sure one of the left me barren. But alive. I wasn't even conscious most of the time so it's a little fuzzy." Zoë remained calm. It had taken many years but she was at peace with her past.

"Hey your phone is ringing." Charlie handed Zoë her cell. She dried her hands and took it, leaving them for some privacy. When she did not return in a few minutes Charlie went to find her.

He opened the door of the guest room. She had her suitcase out on the bed and was throwing clothing in its direction.

"Hey what's going on?" Charlie ran to her and stopped her from packing.

"I have to go Charlie. Christ there is so much that you don't know. So much I should have told you." Zoë continued to stuff her bag and tried to close it. Charlie stopped her again examining her eyes to see if the pupils were dilated. They were normal.

"So tell me," Charlie prompted, sitting on the bed and pulling her next to him.

"My father was a very wealthy and powerful person, but he was a good man. In his heart of hearts he was a family man," Zoë began. "When my family died he took care of me. He got me the best medical treatment, and I got better…Charlie…You know I can be a bit sevens and eights…"

"Sevens and eights?" Charlie knew that she was telling him something important and he wanted to understand but he was not familiar with all of her British expressions.

"Off the rails. Barmy."

"Your condition?" He thought he understood.

"No," Zoë continued. "Some of the things I have done…most of them have nothing to do with my disorder. I was out of control and it scared him. He adopted another little girl. I guess he collects us like strays or something. Anyway she was very ill as well. He thought that I would want to take care of her and it would stop my wild behavior. I hated her at first. I didn't want her, but he was right. I fell in love with her, and she got better. She was fine for almost a year, but he died last May and her cancer is back." Zoë revealed if not her last secret at least the biggest one she had been keeping from Charlie. "She is dying. They just called to tell me that she needs me. I have to go."

"A daughter?" Charlie could not believe her story.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I should have told you." She wanted to cry believing that she had isolated him. "I try to keep her out of the public eye, for many reasons, and I didn't know how serious we were."

"It's ok. You need to go. I'll phone ahead to the airport."

"Come with me. You could meet her." Zoë smiled and began to cry as she cracked under the stress. "She is the most unusual kid. She's so shy and kind."

"No. Let me finish the visit with the family. I'll be there in a few days." Charlie decided.

"Please Charlie." She felt him slipping away convinced that if she left without him, she would never see him again. "I need you. If she…"

"Shh…" Charlie wrapped her in his arms. "Your daughter needs you, so go take care of her. She's going to be fine. I'm going to meet her Zoë, and when I do she is going to be at her best. Just hold on for a few days and I'll be there." He kissed the top of her head. "Now lets get you on that plane. I'll drive you to the airport."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"So how's the family?" Mulder asked. Finally she had invited him over the night before they were to return to work.

"Good, everyone's good." She placed some leftovers on the table. "Actually I thought about you. Charlie introduced us to his girlfriend." Dana moved over this quickly. He had to feel slighted that she did not invite him to her mother's. They had after all recently attempted to conceive a child together. He had earned a place at her family Thanksgiving table. "She's from London, totally adorable. Bill hates her but you would have been proud; she put him in his place."

"Really? Drama in the Scully home? I thought you guys were like the Waltons," Mulder teased. If he felt at all upset he hid it well.

"Bill told Charlie that he was being whipped by a sex goddess and she over heard. She wilted him with one look and said that she appreciated compliment." They both laughed.

"Wow, a girl after my own heart. I should meet this sex goddess," Mulder said before he thought. It was too late Dana's expression tensed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean…" he stumbled.

"It's ok Mulder." Her features returned to normal. "I uh…I told Mom and Bill about us."

"You told your family? Without asking me? Without even inviting me?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't plan it or anything." Dana placed some turkey and stuffing on their plates.

"Did it occur to you that I might like to be there when you told them?" Mulder had actually been relieved to avoid Bill over the long weekend but the traditional 'telling of the family' seemed like a step a couple should take together. Their romance seemed to him as brittle and delicate as their friendship had elastic and solid.

"I told them what we did, what we tried to do." She stuffed a large piece of turkey in her mouth. Since the night she received the news they had not discussed their failed conception. Dana had not said a word to him when she returned from the doctor's office. One look was enough. She dissolved into his arms and he comforted her, made love to her and offered to try again with her. She refused.

That had been only a few days before Thanksgiving so avoiding each other had not been difficult. Now Dana realized that was the reason she wanted to spend the time alone with her family.

"I'm sure Bill loved that." Mulder began to eat.

"You know I don't care what Bill thinks. I'm sorry Fox. You had every right to be with me this weekend." For all of her careful avoidance of the subject, Dana charged in headfirst. "Did you want a baby, Mulder? Or did you say yes out of obligation because you felt you owed it to me?"

"Of coarse I wanted that for us."

"Then, why aren't you upset? Why aren't you grieving? Are you unaffected because you didn't really loose anything? You can still make a child with someone else." Dana was careful not to look into his eyes.

"Don't!" Mulder took her face in his hands. "I would never give myself to anyone else that way. You are the only one I could ever imagine sharing a child with. I'm not grieving because you are. I'm too scared that you will fall apart," Mulder answered. "It's how we work. Only one of us gets to loose it at a time. This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want having a baby to come between us."

Judging that they were neither one hungry, Mulder took her hand and pulled her up. Together they walked into the living room and he sat in the large over stuffed chair and situated Dana in his lap. "The night you asked me to be the father of your baby…" Mulder knew to be careful. Dana hated facing painful emotions and one word in the wrong place and she could close down in a matter of seconds. "I was overwhelmed.

"I knew that you were looking into it. I guess I thought you would use an anonymous donor. But when you asked me…Dana no one has ever given me higher praise. You're strength and integrity are unparalleled, for you to want to share your child with me. It was quite humbling.

"I walked around for days grinning inanely. I was ecstatic to realize we had come so far together. I didn't care whether it worked. Yes I hoped that it would but just knowing that you wanted it to be with me...For the first time I could believe…feel, how much you love me. Please don't let this tear us apart. Let it make us stronger."

"Thank you." She finally looked at him. "You have been great through all of this. I do so very much love you, Fox. It won't…It isn't coming between us. I just need a little time. I'm thinking about taking some leave." Dana stood. "This girlfriend of Charlie's…Zoë…She left a lot of questions. She went through some rare illness in her childhood, which left her unable to conceive."

"You think it's an X File, that it's connected to what happened to you?" Mulder asked point blank.

"No. I don't know. I just want to look into it," Dana answered, against her better judgment she continued. "She adopted a little girl, who is facing an aggressive cancer." She sat on the couch across from Mulder.

"And you want to save this kid. Even if you could, it won't be enough. Saving a hundred won't be enough. You can't changed what happened to Emily and it won't give you a child." Mulder hated himself for being cruel. "Those lambs will never stop screaming, Clarice, until you conquer them. This isn't the way to do that." He referenced _Silence of the Lambs _one of the few movies they both enjoyed.

"This isn't about that. If we are going to get through this you have to stop reading into everything I do." Dana took a deep breath. She could feel her pulse speed up. He was dead on but she refused to admit it.

"I want to try and help her if I can because it's the right thing to do. This woman is virtually family. I'm pretty sure Charlie is going to ask her to marry him. If her daughter were to die from an illness that I might know anything about…I couldn't live with that." Dana left and quickly began clearing the kitchen table. "You're probably right. There is probably nothing I can do but I have to try. I'll be back in a few days a little over a week at most." Mulder followed her.

"_You'll_ be back? So there is some vague off chance that you might have information to help this little girl but not me and my lifetime of experience with the paranormal," Mulder argued, putting the lid on the container of mashed potatoes. They were apparently not going to eat.

"Please don't make this about us. This isn't paranormal. It's cancer and I am a doctor."

"But not an oncologist or a pediatrician."

"So I spend a some time with Charlie and clear my head a little." She put the plates in the dishwasher.

"Fine go. See if you can do any good but I'm not letting you go alone." Mulder took a glass out of her hand and placed it on the counter.

"Not letting me?" Dana's temper flared.

"I will banish myself to the tower if you like, but I'm going with you."

"Please Fox, it's not necessary. It's more of a family matter." She tried to dissuade him.

"What am I then?" Mulder was wounded. He tried to keep his anger in check. "A few weeks ago you were having our child implanted into your uterus. Now I'm not good enough for your family. Tell me where I stand here Dana because I'm getting dizzy. We can try to make a baby together as long as we don't talk about it. You can share your body with me but not your heart, your mind. If that's what this is, I want out. I can get laid anywhere. I love you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Scully said. His tirade scared her.

"Yes and I know how difficult this is going to be for you." Mulder wanted to kick himself. This was not the way to induce her to open up to him. "You said this kid is very sick."

"Sick enough for Zoë to leave Thanksgiving Day."

"I will stay out of the way I promise, but I think you'll be glad I'm there. I need to be there for you. Can you understand that?" Mulder asked. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	5. Chapter 4

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana heard him set the mug on the bedside table. She waited until the door

closed behind him before opening her eyes. Sitting up she reached for the mug. Tea. The fact that it was not coffee told her that he was apologizing. It comforted her that so much could be spoken between them in a simple gesture in the smallest action.

It had been the very first moment to pass between them that extended beyond the FBI. She willingly put her career in second place, when she joined him on that unauthorized stake out, outside the Green home. 'If there's iced tea in that bag Scully, this could be love,' the very first time he had openly flirted with her.

She sipped the hot beverage and recalled the night they had gone back to his place and relaxed over a pot of tea. How simple and easy it had been to surrender to him, to feel the final barrier melt away as she opened herself to him, accepted him in her body. Since that night his love had become almost tangible, an invisible blanket wrapped around her soul protecting her, comforting her, yet changing her on a fundamental level, which frightened her.

A pang of guilt passed over her. He had done nothing wrong. He deserved better from her. She should be the one apologizing. She took another sip and put her feet on the ground. She dressed, comfortably and casually, grabbed her mug walked into the outer room.

"Morning," Mulder smiled at her.

Dana set her tea on the coffee table and wrapped Mulder into a tight embrace. "Thank you, for the tea. You were right; I'm glad you're here." With her celebrity status, Zoë had easily managed them a penthouse suite in Regent's Park.

"You want me to get lost, do some sightseeing? If I investigate Jack the Ripper I could write this trip off on our expense account."

"No, no stay. I want you to meet Charlie. They should be here soon." Dana kept her arms loosely around him.

"Mulder, it wasn't just about me having a baby. I wanted it to be with you. We never really talked about you in all of this. What I wanted from you, what you expected. I guess I didn't care. I trust you. I can't imagine you not falling in love with our child. You've always been so understanding and protective…I guess that's what I wanted from you. What I wanted for our baby."

Mulder was glad that she was still thinking in terms of them having a child. "We can still raise a kid together. I understand that you don't want to try in vitro again but we can look into adopting," Mulder said. Dana was speechless. "If you think that it wouldn't be the same or that it wouldn't be enough…I don't think the biology will matter the instant you hold that little baby in your arms."

"You really want this?"

"Yeah, sure I do," he smiled. "Hey enough of this." Mulder brushed his thumb over her protruding bottom lip. "Here I ordered room service." Mulder removed the lid from the tray on the coffee table to reveal eggs sunny side up, toast, sausage, baked beans, and a fried cherry tomato. "Full English breakfast. I even remembered this." He tossed a small, vacuum packed, plastic cup at her.

She caught the condiment and sat on the floor in front of the food. "Marmite. How did you know?"

Mulder sat beside her. "Your mom told me."

"When did you talk to my mom?" She asked as she opened the Marmite.

"When you were in the hospital in Allentown. We went to see you a lot. You slept a lot, so we talked. She told me about the summer your father was TDY near London. It was an unaccompanied tour but he paid out of pocket to take you guys with him. She said Melissa and Bill suffered from culture shock but you fit right in."

"I had my very first kiss at the market in Covent Garden. The proprietor of the guest quarter's son. I couldn't believe Mom and Dad let him take me around the city. I think it was the accent I found so attractive." Dana knew Mulder took comfort from her stories of a typical, happy, all American family.

"First time out unchaperoned and you were snogging the locals?"

"You picked up the vernacular quickly," she chuckled spreading some of the marmite onto a slice of toast.

"Does it turn you on at all? Does it make you horny? Does it? Does it make you randy?" he teased. She laughed and fanned her face with one hand. Dana took a bite of toast, closing her eyes at the rich, salty, and slightly bitter flavor. She held it out for him.

Mulder took a bite. "Oh my god! Dana, that is the nastiest stuff I have ever put in my mouth!" He spit into a napkin. They sighed together, reclaiming their easy, comfortable companionship.

A knock at the door heralded Charlie and Zoë's arrival. Mulder stood and helped Dana up. She answered the door. Charlie walked into the room supporting Zoë who was transformed into a pale tragic figure with dark circles under her eyes. Her lovely main of curly hair was slack and oily.

"Hey Charlie." Dana kissed her brother on the cheek and helped him move Zoë to the couch. "This is my brother Charlie, and his…" Dana did not know how to quantify their relationship except that they were probably a little too old for 'girlfriend'.

"Partner," Zoë answered.

"His partner Zoë. This is my…partner Fox Mulder," Dana introduced them.

Zoë's head snapped in his direction. "Fox…No…" He looked into her bright, emerald eyes and on a subconscious level knew something profound was at work. She stood and took two stumbling step toward him. "They told me you were dead! I saw the pictures in the paper!"

"Who told you?…Who do you think I am?" Mulder asked confused.

"It's me Fox. I'm…" her voice changed to a whisper, "Samantha. What happened to you?"

Although skeptical of this outrageous claim, Mulder did not want to add to this woman's fragile state. "My sister is dead."

"No, no I was ill. I was in hospital…for weeks I kept asking for you. Finally that night they were bringing you to see me. I always thought it was my fault that you were in that car."

"No I was home alone with my sister when she was taken. I could never clearly remember what happened, but when my parents came home, she was gone." They exchanged the fictions they had been led to believe.

"Mom and Dad…If you're here, where are Mom and Dad? Do they still have the house in Martha's Vineyard?" The eagerness with which she believed that he was her brother only made Mulder more hesitant.

"No they…they're gone. Dad was killed, shot, by someone trying to keep him from finding…you. And Mom died of cancer." Mulder considered that the current emotional turmoil might not be the best climate to fill this woman in on the details of his family history, if she were in fact his sister. "What happened to you?"

"I don't know. I was in the hospital for many months. They told me I was ill. I'm sure I have medical records to reflect any number of complications…but I always had a feeling that it was more than that…that they were using me. And then one day he found me."

"Who found you?" Dana finally spoke.

"Edward Beauford."

"Zoë was adopted by the Earl of Somerset," Charlie went on to explain.

"We know him Scully. He worked for the Syndicate. He gave me the coordinates to find you in the Artic." This connection to the X Files encouraged Mulder's willing suspension of disbelief.

"He worked with our father, Fox. They were friends," said Zoë using his given name without correction. "Why, why would he have done this? Why would they keep me from you?"

"They were covering up many things. I don't even understand all that they were doing," Mulder said. "I don't know why Dad couldn't stop them."

"I can't think about this now." Zoë rubbed her face with her hands. "I have a daughter who is dying. We…I have to get to the hospital."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Zoë led them the top floor of St. Bartholomew's Research Center. Dana knew enough about the medical community in Britain to realize that Zoë was spending a fortune on her daughter's medical care. The upper floors looked more like a posh resort than hospital.

Once in front of the room, Zoë reached out to open the heavy door and faltered. She turned to Charlie. "I can't do this," she whispered.

"Shh, It's ok." He rubbed a light circle over her shoulder, accessing whether or not this were the beginning of a break down. She was fine, no tremors.

"I can't let her see me like this. I can't let her know she's dying."

"Take a minuet. Get your game face on." He continued to comfort her. Zoë paced a few steps in either direction, as she plastered an artificial grin across her features.

Finally she entered the room followed by the others. She curled up on the bed, wrapping the small child in her arms, taking no notice of the tubes and machines. "Wake up sleepy head."

"Go away, Zoë." The little girl roused up enough to push her away. "The nurse told you not to get on my bed."

"Yeah, I don't care what that nurse said." Zoë kissed her cheek repeatedly. "I brought some people to see you."

The child sat up and looked at her visitors. Dana was pierced by blue eyes identical to her own.

"Emily…" Dana deflated in one breath and collapsed into the chair by the door. Emily's brow straightened.

"You know her?" Zoë asked her daughter.

"Yes, before…I came here…she was my mother," Emily announced. "Why didn't you want to keep me?" she asked without malice only a wounded emptiness.

"I…I did." Dana's response was so quite only Mulder could hear. "I did want you." She crossed to the little girl and sat on the very edge of the bed. "I tried to keep you with me. I thought you were…What can you remember?" she asked before she considered the painful memories it may cause.

Emily shrugged. Although Dana wanted to grab the child into a tight embrace and never let Emily out of her arms, she contented herself to hold the little girl's hand. How was it that she could be so anemic and undernourished yet maintain the chubbiest cherub like cheeks, Dana pondered, taking in every detail of her daughter.

"I remember him." Emily cast her eyes at Mulder. He attempted to smile but was too concerned with Dana's well being to put forth much effort.

"Miss Dana is going to help you to get better," Zoë told Emily with forced brightness. Emily shrugged at the news, her disinterest breaking Dana's heart. How many times had the little one been promised a clean bill of health? Her nonchalance spoke of numerous painful and fruitless procedures.

"Dana can we speak outside?" Mulder's words brought her focus back to the hospital room. She wanted to stay at Emily's bed, to curl up beside her inexplicable daughter, to never let her out of sight, but she realized she was standing in front of a little girl who hardly knew her, who she had already disappointed once.

"Uh, sure." Dana followed Mulder into the hall disappointed and grateful to break away from the sick child.

They stood in the hall facing each other. Mulder did not know the gentlest way to dampen her hopes. "I know you're going to go over her medical history and I know you are going to obsess over finding a treatment…Just please consider…This may not be what it seems."

"What do you mean?"

"This doesn't seem a little too convenient to you?"

"How do you mean convenient?"

"My sister. Your daughter. Showing up now like this." Mulder paused unable to be specific. "There could be more at work here than statistically astronomical coincidences."

"Statistically astronomical coincidences? May I have that in English?"

"Zoë has already admitted to being in league with Edward Beauford, a known member of the Syndicate," Mulder said and Dana knew he was in X File investigator mode.

"In league with? He raised her as his daughter. Are you suggesting that this was all arranged? Sir Edward Beauford is dead Mulder. Anyway you have reason to believe that he may well have been working against the Syndicate." There was too much going on, and it was far too personal for Dana to detach herself and analyze the situation. "And even if you're right, to what end? What purpose would be gained by your long lost sister and my deceased daughter turning up like this?"

"I don't know. Just don't close yourself off to the possibility that this is premeditated for some larger reason. You don't find it suspicious that of all the women, in London, _your_ brother finds a woman claiming to be _my_ sister?"

"Are you suggesting Zoë Frasher, British celebrity, star of a television series was sent here by a secret international comity to seduce my brother? Do you know how ridicules that sounds?"

Mulder's tone escalated. Lately every time they talked it snowballed into an argument. "It's just too easy. If she is Samantha, why isn't anyone trying to stop this, stop us from meeting?"

"That's it Mulder. It's too easy for you. If you don't have to face down aliens, or track some mutant monster, or at least follow some ambiguous clues delivered by covert government informants you can't accept it. This isn't an X File. Stop looking for one." Dana attacked the subject they were avoiding. "I need you Fox. The man I love. The man I thought I chose to share my life with. Not the guy I work with at the FBI. Are you capable of understanding the difference?"

"I don't want to see you get hurt. Because let me just fast forward to the inevitable." Mulder's momentum raced at break neck speed. "You fall in love with this kid, and you _don't _save her, or find some other damning truth. Then you fall apart, and I'm the one stuck holding the pieces and I don't know if I can put you back together this time."

Dana's posture stiffened and her blue eyes bore into him. _"Put me back together!" _

Although she did neither Mulder could hear her hiss 'You Bastard!' at him, and feel her cold hand make sharp contact with the side of his face. He had insulted her by the worst possible means. To Dana Scully an attack on her emotional strength was tantamount to questioning the very core of her cardinal values.

"There is a connection in all of this. A clear even obvious reason that they are together," she spat at him. "Samantha was kidnapped because of your father's work and I was taken because you are my partner and you wouldn't give up. We were taken, by the very same men. They made Emily." Although she knew she would long to take her words back she could not stop them, as each tiny scalpel sliced into his soul. "So if Edward Beauford could save Samantha and help you find me it follows that he would have had access to Emily. It's you Mulder. You are the person we all have in common, the reason this has happened to us."

She squared her shoulders as she walked past him. Mulder felt his stomach tighten. He reached out to stop her, tried to call to her but there was nothing for him to contradict in what she said.

He walked back into the small hospital room.

"Where's Dana?" Zoë asked standing by the bed.

"I'm sure she went to speak with Emily's doctor," Mulder told her.

"I want to talk to him too. Will you stay Charlie?"

"Sure I'll be here," he assured her.

"Deciding if I am worth putting up with this brat of mine, no doubt," Zoë said. Mulder and Charlie exchanged surprised expressions over her frankness.

"Not at all. Is Emily supposed to give me second thoughts about us?" Charlie answered, although in truth she had guessed his thoughts with remarkable accuracy.

"She sure as hell should," she answered him. "I'll be back in a few minuets." Her absence left Charlie and Mulder in an uncomfortable silence. Mulder wanted to get along with Dana's younger brother but the unusual circumstances coupled with his previous experience with Bill kept him quiet.

Emily was colouring a picture, the hospital tray placed across the bed acting as a little desk. _"Dites-moi Pourquoi, La vie est belle,"_ she began to sing quietly. _"Dies-moi Pourquoi, La vie est gai."_ Hearing Emily sing the lilting French lullaby, Mulder knew beyond proof that Zoë was Samantha.

"_Dites-moi Pourquoi,"_ Mulder sang with her. She looked up at him as he continued solo. _"Chere Mad'moiselle. Est-ce que?"_ He paused and waited for Emily to sing the next line.

"_Parce que?"_ She followed his unspoken lead.

"_Vous m'aimez?"_ They ended together. Emily giggled showing the first sign of a typical six-year-old that Mulder had ever seen in her. Not that he had spent very much time with her. He wished Dana were with him to hear the clear bell like quality of her daughter's laugh.

"Who taught you that song?" Mulder asked though he already knew.

"Zoë…Did she teach you too?"

"No. I taught it to her. When she was even younger than you are." Mulder sat beside her.

"Weally? Zoë wasn't little like me." She returned to colouring.

"Sure she was. Do you know what it means?" Following his instincts Mulder placed his arm behind her.

"That life is beautiful and happy when you have a little girl who belongs to you," Emily answered.

"Yes, that's it."

"Zoë says it's my song because I make her happy." Emily lay back against his arm yawning. "Sing it to me again." She requested closing her eyes. Mulder softly sang through it twice and she was asleep.

Zoë returned. Charlie took her hand. "Hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." She turned her attention to Mulder. "Dana talked to your friend, Skinner?" Mulder affirmed that she had the name right but never took his eyes from Emily. "She asked him to fax over some files and records, some of Emily's from before. It's so strange. When Emily was ill before, she needed a bone marrow transfusion. I was a match."

Zoë chuckled and continued her update. "She's doing a DNA test on us. She says you won't believe anything else. She swabbed my cheek but she said your DNA is on file from when a…Victor Toombs?…tried to frame you for assault? What is it that you two do?"

"We work for the FBI."

"But that's not all you do," she smiled mischievously.

"No. She and I are partners in the widely understood definition."

Charlie caught the cautious timber in Mulder voice. "It's ok I'm not like Bill. I don't care that you're having it off with Dana."

"You only say that because you're fucking me," Zoë told Charlie. She was not helping Mulder win over the Scully family member who could tip the balance in his favor. "Why are you two having a quarrel?"

"We are not 'having a quarrel'," Mulder contradicted. "Why? What did she say?"

"Nothing but the set of her mouth says you will never see her naked again. You better fix whatever you've done," she added. Mulder remembered how Samantha always told everything she knew and never learned when to shut up. "Let's go somewhere, and talk." She motioned to Mulder. "You don't mind Charlie?"

"No of coarse not."

Mulder and Zoë left him with the sleeping Emily. Zoë stopped first by the vending machines and got a coke. She led Mulder to the service stairs and went up the last flight to the roof.

The view was astounding, all of London at their feet, yet no tourists, no noises. Mulder wondered how many people even knew of the view. He felt a little like the chimney sweeps in _Merry Poppins. _

"Impressive," he said taking in the skyline.

"Yeah, I love the city." Zoë opened the soda and took a sip. "I come up here when I'm in a strop, or sometimes just to think. You can see Trafalgar, and Parliament, and even the London eye." She pointed out each monument.

"Zoë Frazure huh?"

She kept her eyes on the view. "It was our biggest fight. I wouldn't let him change my name for years."

"What changed your mind?"

"Theatre." Zoë held out the can of coke to him. Mulder took it and drank. "I was offered my first job at the Albury when I was fourteen, still a minor, so I needed his consent. He wouldn't do it unless I agreed to perform under the name Zoë Frazure. Makes sense now I guess. He was trying to keep you from finding me."

'Not like he tried that hard.' Mulder thought to himself. How could he have not found her after all of these years, after all of the leads he had followed, all of the dead ends he had gone down? He believed he had exhausted every possible avenue but here she was all along, a celebrity no less. She had been hidden from him in a cut glass bowl, sitting out in plain sight but obscured by the prism effect of the light.

Now that he had seen into the bowl what did it mean? Was she his sister? He believed so, but what did it change? They sat together quietly in the shade provided by a taller building to the west and watched London work and bustle until the sun set.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	6. Chapter 5

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana sat at the small table in the make shift office surrounded by files, records, and evidence, hoping something would speak to her, give her the answer, offer the happy ending she needed.

"How is she?" Zoë let herself and the others in with her own key. Dana looked up for the first time in five hours she noted looking at the clock on the living room wall. Mulder and Charlie moved to the far side of the couch.

"Fine. She had a good dinner. She's sleeping." Zoë answered.

"I looked in on her before I left," Dana said.

"Have you found anything?" Zoë did not want to push but she could not force herself to ignore Emily's condition.

Dana bit lightly on her bottom lip. "I have your DNA tests. Mulder you and…"

"It's ok I know. We had a long talk this afternoon. I know she's my sister."

"That isn't want I was going to say," Dana replied but quickly changed the subject. "Her cancer is much as it was before, terminal, untreatable and inoperable, like mine four years ago."

"So there must be something…some way to save her. If you survived, what did you do?" Zoë pleaded, discovering in her daughter's horrific illness how much she loved the little girl. Loosing Emily's shy enduring, and gentle spirit Zoë refused to contemplate.

"Yes, I thought of that," Dana said motioning for Zoë to sit beside her. "When I was returned from my abduction I found a small implant at the back of my neck of unknown origin…unknown technology. I had it removed, and I believe that is what triggered my cancer. When we exhausted all other avenues of treatment I had the chip replaced. I recovered almost immediately."

Zoë, one minuet near tears, now glowed with a smile. "That's it? Just put a microchip in her neck?"

Mulder felt the first stirring in the pit of his stomach as he followed Dana's conclusions. "They don't exactly sell those at Sears, Dana. The Smoking Man isn't passing them out like Halloween candy."

"Well, we're in luck. I know where to find one," she said resolved.

"Like hell you do!" Mulder moved to face her.

"You won't stop me." She was quiet but determined.

"Won't stop you? You are not her doctor, nor do you have any legal relationship to her. You are not authorized to make medical decisions on her behalf," he challenged.

"Zoë is and she will do anything to save her!"

Mulder snapped his head to Zoë. "Don't do this. She is talking about placing unknown technology along your daughter's spine. We know almost nothing about this chip or how it works. It could be used to make her sick all over again."

"I've been fine for four years," Dana argued.

"She was directed to rendezvous with other abductees. Dozens of them were found burned to death. Dana spent two days in the hospital suffering from severe dehydration," Mulder highlighted the dangers.

"So keep the doors locked." Dana would stop at nothing.

"Please," Mulder implored. "Don't let her do this. It will kill Dana."

"Will it save Emily?" Zoë stood. As she finished the sentence her throat closed and in that instant Dana saw the measure of the confused, overwrote woman. She was ready and capable of asking for the ultimate sacrifice for her daughter. No matter what crazy, torrid past Zoë had, they discovered a mutual respect as two mothers working in the best interest of their child.

"It's the only option left to us. If she doesn't get this chip, she will die," Dana assured her.

"Damn it! What about you!?" Mulder demanded.

"I don't know!" Dana yelled back at him, at her tethers end. "I don't know. Maybe I'll be fine. Just because it put me in remission doesn't mean that it has been keeping my cancer away all of this time. Maybe I'll be fine…healthy."

"If you believe that chip is inactive, then why would you give it to Emily? You know…You know what will happen." Mulder tried to reason with her. "You could get sick with no guarantee that she will live. All you are offering is a chance, a risk that isn't worth taking."

"Do it. Do whatever you have to. Just save her." Even as she spoke Zoë felt the cold numbing guilt coil around her lungs. Dana embraced her and Zoë took a deep ragged breath. "What have I done?"

Dana relaxed her arms and looked Zoë fully in the eyes. "I want to do this. Please don't blame yourself. Promise me Emily will never know. If…if my cancer returns…if anything happens to me, I never want her to feel responsible. She must never know. Promise me Zoë."

"Dana you are an angel."

"You should go. You need rest. I scheduled the procedure for 9:30 tomorrow morning."

"Thank you Dana," Zoë said as Charlie took her arm and they left.

Dana closed the door behind them and before she could turn around Mulder was invading her space almost pushing her back against the wall. She expected him to continue reasoning with her or yelling at her, but he pressed his mouth against hers in an urgent demand.

"Don't…Stop…This isn't right," Dana exhaled against his lips. He was confusing her. She had never resorted to physical desire to manipulate her partner. For her engaging in an intimate act necessitated the closest personal bond and she was acutely aware of their growing dissonance.

"Don't think…Feel…" Mulder continued to assault her lips. In the months since she had become his lover he had learned her body with devastating accuracy. He ran his hand through her hair, digging his thumb in the hollow where the base of head met her neck and continuing down her spine. Her knees buckled and she fell into him, her stimulated nerves echoing along her arms and legs.

Dana wanted to stop, to talk to him rationally, calmly, even as her body betrayed her collected, logical mind. She put her arms around his shoulders and deepened the kiss.

Mulder pulled her sweater over her head and then pulled her back to him. Dana began frantically unbuttoning his shirt, as he negotiated them to the bedroom. He slid his shoes off leaving them scattered where they fell, along with his shirt effortlessly dropping it to the floor, joined by her bra.

They stumbled onto the bed. Mulder moved his lips lightly over her throat, nipping his way to her breast to suck on a pert nipple. She gasped her unrestrained approval, inwardly reprimanding her body's obvious and ungoverned reaction. He shifted so that his erection pressed against her abdomen.

A flash of lightening surged through her and Dana unfastened his slacks and pushed them over his hips. Mulder shifted and tugged them off. She reached for the waistband of his boxers, slipped her hand inside and stroked his erect shaft.

Encouraged by her action Mulder pulled her panties to her knees and slid them over her calves, removing his own underwear in the process. He returned to kiss her, moving his hand between them he flicked the sensitive flesh between her legs cautiously. He knew that Dana was feeling conflicted and initiating this encounter was potentially disastrous, but found her body eager and well primed for him.

He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed the head of his straining penis inside. Dana suddenly flipped him under her, sitting up as his length slid inside. She sighed deeply contented, and then began to rock her hips against Mulder's.

This was the memory of Dana that drove him crazy. Back arched, lips parted, panting heavily, hips bucking around him. She was exquisite, the image of her uncontrolled, desire precious to him, because of its hard won, rarity. She was not a woman to give herself heedlessly.

Mulder felt her internal muscles tremble, could see her taunt abdomen flexing rigidly. She flung her head back, propelling her heaving breasts forward, moaning incoherently her mind transported through a primal dance of ecstasy. Her body slowed as Mulder began to reach his peak.

He pushed her down on the mattress, lifting her legs over his shoulders, burying himself completely in her. Faster and harder, he thrust, as she rode out the aftershocks of her orgasm in oblivious pleasure.

'Love me…choose me…choose us…don't…do…this…' He thought as his strokes gained in strength and speed. He wanted to claim and control her head as easily as he could her body, to get inside her beautiful mind. He wished to compel her to act as he directed as simply as he could inspire her body to respond to him.

'No, that isn't true.' Mulder thought. Their history was well established in trust and respect. He had no use for a Dana doll. He valued her opinions and found challenge in their disagreements, but this was different. This was not some banal point of contention. The stakes were unparalleled. This could be their only argument that would ever matter.

Mulder's scrotum tightened in a familiar ache as he emptied himself into her. Dana felt herself overflow, with his sticky protein. She smiled in the knowledge of her little secret. She loved the exchange of fluid with Mulder. She thrilled every time she felt his passionate release. Customarily, so unsoiled and hygienic in his bed she craved the messy sweat, the pooling moisture and musty aroma.

Mulder inhaled, expanding his lungs to their full capacity with each breath as he slipped away from her. Dana yawned, sated and exhausted. There was so much she should tell him but aided by the jet lag and emotional stress she felt the warmth of Mulder's arms attract her like a magnet. She curled up to him, finding even in their irresolution he was her soft place to fall.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	7. Chapter 6

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Strawberry shampoo, L'air du temps perfume, cucumber and melon shower gel. Mulder woke to the mild combination of smells that were Dana Scully. He felt her nuzzle closely to him and pressed a firm kiss against her forehead. "Don't do this," he whispered, opening his eyes.

"There is something you don't know." How did normal couples do this? Dana wondered. She and Mulder were exceptional in so many ways that she could not remember how typical lovers behaved, yet here they were curled up in bed, after a night of zealous copulation, his epithelials marking every inch of her body. Basking in their fresh intimacy, she breathed deeply. "Skinner faxed Emily's DNA profile with the rest of her records. I compared her DNA to yours…She is your daughter Fox. I can't explain it.

"I knew she had a father," Dana continued. "She's my daughter not my clone. When I found her I felt so violated…that I had been shared with someone. Creating a life has to be the most intimate experience to share with another person. I assumed that one of the men who took me used their own contribution, but she is yours Fox, our daughter." Her expression was more breathtaking, more genuine than he'd ever seen. She rested against him, at peace, naked and content in his arms.

Dana held her breath hoping for the news to change him in the same indelible way that it had for her. Mulder expected it too, willed himself to feel something but all felt was defeat. He knew he had lost. Dana would do anything within her power to save this little girl now that he was the other integral factor of her existence.

He took a long breath savoring what might be their last serene encounter before ruining possibly everything they shared. "No, Dana. We did not make her. We didn't choose her. You said yourself once that some miracles aren't meant to be. You know she was created for a purpose, to serve an agenda, and that agenda was not to love and care for her. You accepted it once. You tried to stop it."

Dana pulled the sheet over her body, withdrawing from him. "No. I was wrong. I should have fought for her through every available means."

"I know, you think I'm being selfish, but damn it, I get to be selfish for once. You can't understand…You can't know what it's like. I've lost everyone…I have ever cared for. My sister, parents…everyone I've been involved got hurt or left. I don't want…can't loose you."

Dana was already out of the bed pulling on her dress slacks and shirt behind the sheet she had taken with her. She stopped and looked at him, her resolve softening. "You have Samantha back." She sat again on the bed and reached across to brush his stubbled cheek with her palm. "And I'll be fine…you'll see. I have to go."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

9:45AM, Dana walked into the waiting room. The cotton gauze taped to the base of her neck shouting like a neon sign 'procedure complete.' Mulder stood, the heady aroma of her sex still on him.

He looked again at his sister seated next to Charlie. How many insane, obsessed years had he searched for her? And now he would trade them all to prevent her unexpected entrance into his life, to have her again relegated to a painful, driving memory but nothing more. He would do anything to prevent this threat on Dana's life.

"They are bringing Emily down now. It shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes." Dana told them skillfully avoiding everyone's eye line.

The young doctor in blue scrubs who had followed her in spoke. "It won't take long but we will want to keep her in hospital for a few days for observation."

"No." Zoë stood speaking directly to the doctor. "No, it's over. This is it. If it doesn't work there is nothing left to try. I don't know how much time she has. But she is going to spend it at home being a normal kid."

Dana wanted to argue that the hospital would be the safest place for her until they knew that the chip was working, that it was not causing any other complications but Zoë was her mother. "It would be best for her to be in the care of a doctor for now." The young man assured her.

"And she will. She will be under Dr. Scully's care, for the next few days." Zoë was unwavering.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana looked through the back window. Emily was throwing a tennis ball for an enthusiastic border collie. She had never seen the little girl so exuberant or typically childlike.

"So have you thought about how you want to do this?" Zoë said behind her, joining her at the window.

"Do what?"

"Share Emily."

"What do you mean? She's your daughter Zoë. She's bonded with you. That didn't change just because I showed up," Dana said, her arms crossed.

"You saved her life. I think that means you get to know her, have a say in what happens," Zoë said. "We both want what's best for her. This can work out for everyone."

"Too bad we can't just ask her what she wants."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because, she's just a kid. We can't let her feel responsible or guilty for choosing one of us, or disappointing the other," Dana answered but Zoë was already at the door.

"Emily!" she called. Emily threw the ball once more. The dog bounded after it. She stumbled halfway to the door, falling head first into the grass. Dana wanted to run to her but Zoë stopped her. Emily popped up still smiling and brushed at the fresh grass stain on her white stocking.

Zoë took her coat when she entered the den hugged her and sat with her on the brown, cracked, leather sofa. "So…you know Dana and Fox have to leave tomorrow."

"Yeah." Emily looked away.

"Well, we all love you and we all want you. So we thought we'd ask you what you want." Zoë did her best with the awkward conversation.

"I want to stay here…with you," Emily said solemnly.

"Yeah." Zoë squeezed her hand. "It's your home."

"Yes but…" Emily continued. "She's my mum Zoë. I want to know her." Dana was elated hearing her daughter admit even a slight inclination for her.

"Then that's what we'll do," Zoë said with certainty. "You will stay here, just like always and I'll see to it you spend as much time as possible with Dana. Holidays, vacations. In fact it'll be Christmas soon. Charlie and I are going to America. Would you like to spend some time with Dana then? Maybe just the two of you?" Emily nodded.

Zoë's skillful negotiation gained Emily's confidence. Dana mentally noted to observe, include and ask Zoë about the onslaught of questions inundating her mind concerning this little girl.

"Now go find Gemma and ask her to make your tea. It will warm you up."

"May I have it in my room?"

"If you can talk Gemma into serving it to you in there."

"Would you like to come to my tea party?" Emily looked at Dana.

"I'd love to."

Emily blushed and looked at her feet. "Can Mr. Fox come too?"

"I'll ask him for you. By the way, I think you can call him Dad now," Zoë answered.

Emily chuckled and looked up. "No. Mr. Fox is a funny name." She dashed away.

"I'll go find him," Dana said and she walked down the wide hallway. They had been sharing the guest room but Mulder was purposely going to bed long after he knew Dana would be asleep and she was deliberately waking hours before he would open his eyes.

"Emily would like for us to have tea with her," Dana announced walking into the closed in porch. Mulder did not turn to look at her. "How long are you going to stay mad at me?" Dana asked without prelude. "I didn't do anything wrong. Stop making me some kind of martyr."

"I'm not mad." Mulder turned. He hated being at odds with Dana and was well ready to put this behind them. "I am so scared."

"I know. I am too and I need you." She whispered and fell into his arms.

Mulder's mind played over the events of the night they had become lovers. On their own terms they had both come to accept that their amorous feelings would become manifest and still Mulder had not expected it to be that night.

_They were relaxing, talking together, nothing more. And then he looked over to see that she had fallen asleep. A year ago, even a few months ago he would not have dared to allow her to spend the night in his apartment no matter the hour. He followed the clear cut, rules of professional decorum she established to the letter, lapsing only under the most extreme circumstances. But things were changing quickly. Casual dinners, kicking back with a movie, outings to the ballpark were becoming more of a routine than stakeouts and field reports. _

_Mulder pulled the light throw over her, leaning in so very closely to her tempting lips. He indulged in the briefest instant to press his mouth to hers, and pulled away quickly. But as he stood the gentlest pressure of her hand in his stopped him. She stood and with the slightest forward motion her mouth was again on his._

_They had kissed before, on several occasions and for a variety of reasons. Hell they even had a carefully perfected 'I need you. Stay with me tonight.' spooning type sleeping position worked out. But she had never parted her perfect lips for him. Mulder swept his tongue against hers, the neurons in his brain flashing 'red alert…we have tongue to tongue contact with Dana Scully…repeat this is not a drill…tongue to tongue contact with Dana Scully!' The message screamed throughout his nervous system._

_Time was lost but at some point he became aware that they were no longer kissing and that she was looking at him. "Don't you…want me?" Dana asked confused perhaps she had miss read the signs. She had assumed that Mulder was waiting for her, giving her time to be certain of her feelings before taking her to bed but maybe instead of romantic feelings on his part he simply regarded her as a good friend, a buddy. _

_In truth Mulder had been so lost, savoring their kiss that he had forgotten to respond in any way. 'Jesus Christ "YES!"' Mulder answered emphatically. He managed to edit out the first part of his reply, his mind to mouth filter engaging for once. Her corresponding smile was at once sensual and pure, familiar and mysterious._

"_Come on, Spooky. Time to melt the Ice Queen." Dana took his hand and took a small step toward his bedroom._

"_I've got a great light saber," Mulder teased putting an arm around her. _

"_Help me, Obi Wan Kanobi. You're my only hope." She would soon learn the effect _Star Wars_ references had on him._

"Why did you leave?" Mulder followed his own internal monologue forgetting to leave her any context clues.

"What? When?" Dana stepped away.

"I wanted to wake up with you, spend the day with you, maybe walk along the National Mall, have a picnic on our bench." Mulder would not let her avoid eye contact.

Dana knew he was speaking of their first night. She had slipped away early the next morning leaving him alone. "I know." She tried to look away but couldn't. "I left because if I had stayed we would have talked."

"And what a disaster that would be." Mulder realized how much they didn't talk. They had such an extensive history, were so close personally that often nothing needed to be said. And Dana was so private that it was easier to avoid direct conversation, but that strength was quickly turning to their Achilles heal.

"And I would have said that I want to be with you…make a life with you. I want to take care of you, Fox…love you. And I can't do that running around in the dark chasing everything unexplained."

"That's it?"

"That's it? I'm talking about giving up the X Files…your life's work. You wouldn't let that happen easily and I can't keep going on like this. I appreciate my time on the X Files. They have challenged my skills and education to the limit. They have made me a stronger person but I've grown Mulder. I've changed and I don't think you have." Dana reached out to touch his arm needing the reassurance of his presence.

"Is that way you asked me to have a baby with you? You were hoping I would step out of 'The Twilight Zone' and into 'Daddy Knows Best'." He wanted to want these things, wanted to be the man who could put everything right for her.

"I don't know."

He took her hand. "Lets go have tea with our daughter."

Dana paused. "Mulder, what if I can't do this? I've spent so many years trying to be professional, competent, gender neutral Agent Scully. I don't know how to be a mother. I cut soft and understanding out of my persona. What if we don't get along?"

"What?" Although she was genuinely concerned Mulder found the notion ludicrous. "She will love you. She just needs time. Dana you are the most warm and maternal person I know. When our cases involve children you always take the lead. And you couldn't be gender neutral no matter how hard you tried. You'll know what to do."

Hand in hand, they took their first tenuous steps as parents.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	8. Chapter 7

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A dull pain coursed through his side. His eyes flew open, his field of vision covered in a tumble of brown spirals. "What the…" he yelled before he could think. "Christ Zoë! Did you stop to think about what we could be doing in here?"

"Yes. That's why I listen at the door." Zoë brushed him off, sitting up.

"I'd forgotten what a pest you are." Mulder look over at Dana. She would not welcome the abrupt interruption in the sanctuary of her bedroom.

"Where is Emily?" Dana asked ignoring the annoyance.

"Parked in front of Cartoon Network." Zoë and Charlie had rented a car at the airport and used the spare key when they arrived at Dana's apartment.

"She'll probably pass out soon, with the jet lag and everything." Dana was out of bed and tying on her terrycloth robe.

"No. I gave her some Nyquil and let her stretch out between Charlie and me on the plane. She slept the whole way," Zoë explained.

"You gave a six year old Nyquil?" Mulder asked.

"It was children's Nyquil," Zoë defended. "Anyway you need to stock up on your sugar." Zoë had apparently taken the liberty of looking through the pantry and refrigerator.

"I intend to teach her healthy eating habits." Dana's nerves were getting the better of her.

"I meant for me. Emily is the best kid ever, totally low maintenance, loves vegetables." Zoë followed Dana into the living room.

"Hey sweetie." Dana sat down beside Emily and took the little girls hand. Emily climbed into her lap and pressed her soft cheek against Dana's bosom. The intimacy of the action shocked Dana. She gasped at the slightly uncomfortable sensation. She was unaccustomed to sharing her body in a maternal manner, especially with a child she was only beginning to know. Confused as to what to do, she ran her fingers through the little girl's strawberry blond hair, hoping Emily would gain from the action the comfort she needed.

"How was the flight?" Dana asked Charlie

"Fine. Uneventful." Charlie entered from the kitchen, placing two bowls on the table off to the side of the living room. "Come on pal. I've got your oatmeal ready." Emily went to the table and tucked into the hot cereal.

"I didn't pack her very much," Zoë said. "I figured that you and Maggie would want to take her shopping. You could get her some clothes for spring a size too big and keep them here. I thought you would want to see her at least once a season. You can come to London every year for her birthday. I'll send her over for Thanksgiving. Since Fox and I don't have any other family I assume Maggie's house is the default Christmas plan." Zoë had given the arrangements considerable thought.

"Yeah that sounds fine, very fair," Dana agreed.

"Of coarse it all gets complicated if either of us break up," Charlie said between bites of oatmeal.

"Yes." Fox had dressed and joined them. "I was just thinking _that's _what would make this complicated."

"Oh be quiet," Zoë said to her brother. "I'll see you in a few days Emily. Love you." She kissed the little one. "And remember you're not officially her daughter until you have broken at least one of her favorite things and left a prominent stain on an expensive piece of furniture."

"I'll do my best," Emily assured her.

"Are you ready?" Zoë asked Mulder.

Charlie stood and grabbed Zoë's small bag by the front door. "I'll walk you down."

"And just so you're warned, Emily will probably run into your bed some time around half two. And she doesn't listen at doors," Zoë said as she exited with Charlie.

Mulder grabbed his bag from the front closet and slung it over his shoulder. He walked to the table and picked up Emily. "I promise we'll spend some time together when I get back. Maybe you and Dana and I can build a tower out of the furniture." Mulder looked over at Dana to see if she had caught the reference. Her smile told him that she had. He was glad that they would be spending Christmas at Maggie's, plenty of people around. The idea of having a kid in his sole care for more than a few minutes terrified him only slightly less than swarms of bionic cockroaches. Emily blushed and giggled as he placed her back in the chair.

"Drive safely," Dana said. "I hope everything goes well, that you both find what you need." She kissed him.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Mulder grabbed their bags from the trunk. She took the sack of groceries he had purchased and they walked onto the sizeable front porch. Mulder put down the cases and unlocked the front door. He had pictured this scenario countless times. How he would bring her home. How she would react. How his parents would react. The absence of his mother and father brought a hollowness to his triumph. If they were alive would they have been proud of him? Would this have finally put his feelings of failure to rest? "You remember your way around?"

"A little I think," Zoë answered turning in the direction of the kitchen upon entry. She placed the bag on the counter. Even though it was late Mulder had deliberately stopped at a market outside of town to avoid running into anyone who might recognize him. He wanted a few provisions so that they could avoid eating out. He would have a difficult time explaining why he was here with British actress, Zoë Frazure let alone that she was in fact his sister Samantha.

"I never expected you to be British," Mulder said. He grabbed an apple from the bag and cut it into eighths.

"I never expected you to have a pulse," she returned.

"So this is what siblings do?" He opened a small jar of peanut butter and placed it on a tray with the sliced apple.

"Yeah I guess so. I remember this, apples and peanut butter. You use to make it for us all the time. You were always taking care of me. Mum was always…" She couldn't find the words for the maternal indifference she'd experienced in the months before her abduction. "God you must have hated me."

"Yes," Mulder admitted. "I didn't mind taking care of you but then they would come home and you would morph into an unimaginable brat. I was the only one who tried to put you in your place." He took the tray into the living room and sat on the couch.

"That's why we were down here that night." Zoë followed him. "I broke the lamp by the arm chair." She looked over at the chair as though she expected to see it still there. "And I blamed you."

"And Mom and Dad believed you. They always did."

"When they left you wanted to go up to your room and get away from me."

"Yes, but you couldn't stand it when I was mad at you. You threw a fit until I agreed to stay down here and teach you how to play Stratego." Mulder had never felt so calm as he recalled the memories of that night.

"And then we started fighting again, about what to watch."

"That's when your nose started bleeding…hemorrhaging." His memories came back evenly without the trauma he would have expected after so many years of suppression.

"You brought me a wash cloth and told me to lie down. That's the last thing I remember."

"You were loosing so much blood. I knew I had to call an ambulance. They arrived in record time. I never thought about it before but they must have been parked just down the road. They must have known." How simple it all was. How could he have forgotten? "When the men entered the house I knew something was wrong. They looked like nothing I'd ever seen. They were in full biohazard gear: gloves, boots, face shields. I shouted at them not to touch you, not to take you. That's when I grabbed Dad's gun but it was too late. I stood at the front door and watched as they closed up the back of the ambulance." Strange creatures taking her, flashing lights, it would fit so easily into his twelve year old fantasies of aliens and spaceships.

For several minutes they were silent together, each filing away the ancient memories made suddenly fresh. "Do you remember your room?" Mulder started to stand.

"No! No. I don't want to go up there. Not yet." She threw her arms around him. "Lets stay here tonight." Mulder ran his fingers through her tangled hair finding the action odd yet familiar.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The sun woke Mulder the next morning, his back stiff from sleeping on the couch. Zoë stood at the window gazing out.

"I broke my shoulder falling from that swing." She sensed that he was awake.

"Yeah. Dad wailed me for that."

"Why? You didn't do anything."

"I know but he wouldn't hear it." Mulder joined her at the window. "Are you hungry? I got everything I need for my world famous omelets."

"Sounds good." She followed him to the kitchen and watched as he began washing the vegetables. "I remember Gene. She was the first friend I really had anything in common with."

"Yeah she had a brother, Robert. He was my age." Mulder grabbed a couple of plates and a skillet from the cabinet. "Why don't you pour us some juice."

"Do they still live in Martha's Vineyard?" Zoë found some glasses and grabbed the orange juice from the fridge.

"As far as I know. He joined the local police force. She teaches at the elementary school. They had a baby sister, Katie. She was born after you were taken." Mulder picked up the knife and began chopping the vegetables. "I think she moved to the city."

"We should call on them. It would be so strange to see Gene after all these years." She poured the juice and returned it to the refrigerator.

"We can't Zoë. Everything changed after you were taken." He turned the knob on the stove to heat the pan.

"What do you mean?"

"Some people blamed us for what happened. Gene's family believed that I hurt you, that Mom and Dad were lying to protect me." Mulder cracked the eggs into a large mixing bowl and began to beat them.

"That's not true. It's not fair. You were a great brother. What did they think you did?" She could not fathom the effect her disappearance had on such a provincial community.

"I don't know. Our families weren't exactly on speaking terms then." He poured the eggs into the heated skillet. He knew. Every theory, every rumor from sexual abuse to murder was burned into his psyche but he was not going to burden her with them.

"Smells delicious," she said as the aroma filled the kitchen.

"It's one of Dana's favorites. It's the first breakfast I ever made for her," Mulder said adding the chopped vegetables.

"Oh yeah. Bet you guys had worked up quite the appetite," Zoë teased.

"No. It was nothing like that. It was her first case involving a fetish. She wasn't much more than a rookie. It was pretty tough for her." Mulder folded over the layer of eggs. "The sick freak actually kidnapped her. We found her just in time. She would never admit how scared she was that night. She was too proud to ask me to stay with her but she didn't tell me to leave either. When she woke up the next morning, I knew she was fine. So I made breakfast and we ate together before I left."

"Wow and it still took you guys how long to admit you were in love?"

"Are we at this place? Where we can talk about our romantic lives?"

"I don't know. We can pretend we are," Zoë said.

"I'd like for us to be. Dana is cautious. She doesn't make mistakes, not with her heart anyway." Mulder cut the omelet in half and placed the pieces on the two plates. "I cut. I guess you get to choose." Zoë grabbed one of the plates and followed her brother into the living room. "Even now it's hard for me to believe we're together. She is always holding back not letting me in on some part of what's important to her."

"How can you doubt her?" Zoë asked taking her first bite. "She said she wanted a life with you, to make a home with you. You're the one avoiding commitment."

"How do you know she said that?" Mulder asked as he began to eat.

"I told you; I listen at doors." She nudged him. "She has looked into you Fox and found that which she is. For her it is a very humbling experience. She respects commitment because she understands it."

"So do I. I love her and I want to share everything with her."

"No, Fox, you don't. You had a broken family and bickering and divorce. She grew up surrounded by commitment she knows what ten, fifteen, twenty years day after day with the same person means. She watched her mother lonely and sad waiting for her father to come home. She knows far more fully than you what it is to make that promise to someone. And it overwhelms her."

Mulder had dismissed much of what his sister said and did. He had labeled her as erratic and even silly but this made surprising sense. "When did you learn to read people so well?"

"I'm an actress. It's what we do." Zoë gave him a wink.

"Just remember I am the one with the degree from Oxford. That means I get to be right." He paused over another bite. "So you and Charlie Scully?" While he encouraged a close relationship with his sister he did not want to discuss Dana any further.

"Yeah," Zoë continued her breakfast. "Come on, you can hardly object. We both have a preference for the Scully skin," she teased him.

"I'm sure Bill hates that." Mulder could not help a smug satisfaction.

"Are you kidding? I love Bill," Zoë said and Mulder furrowed his brow. "He is a great guy, a family man. He wants what is best for them. Besides it's so much fun to take the piss out of him. He makes it too easy."

"I thought you two didn't get on."

"We don't." Zoë took a long sip of orange juice. "But I understand it. He is afraid of me because he is attracted to me, and as I am his brother's girl and he is a married man himself, it is a pretty tough fact to come to terms with."

"I see you're vanity is unchanged."

"Not at all. I know the effect I have on men, Fox. I am contractually obligated to look like Mischa and she must be every adolescent boy's wet dream."

"So why Charlie if you are so sure of your powers of attraction?" Mulder collected the dishes and put them in the sink.

"Because he stands up to me, he isn't impressed with who I am, he doesn't get bogged down in the circumstances of my life. He can stand in a room full of men drooling over me and it doesn't phase him. He just waits for me to return to him." Zoe smiled. "And then makes me glad I did."

"Ready to tackle the upstairs?" Mulder asked.

"Take my hand." For a moment she was young and small again, his sister relying on him. Together they climbed the stairs to the upper level of the house. Zoë knew the floor plan with remarkable accuracy. She passed by both of their childhood bedrooms going to their parent's room. She went straight to the closet and brought out a medium sized padlocked trunk. Mulder was not surprised that he had missed it when he had gone through his mother's things. His effort to put things in order had been feeble at best. But he was shocked that she would know anything about it.

"How do you know the combination?" He asked watching her unfaltering hands turn the dial, and noting the insignificance of the sequence.

"Mom told me, made me memorize it years ago. She said that there were things that could not be spoken…and if one day I wanted an answer I deserved one," Zoë explained as the hasp sprung.

Inside the trunk there were papers, files. She lifted them out. They were her pediatric medical records. Mulder pulled out more records underneath which belonged to his mother.

"These document my bipolar disorder," Zoë explained. His parents had never told him about his sister's mental condition but he did recall how emotional she had been, often times loving and kind but sometimes violent in displays of temper.

"These are Mom's. She was manic-depressive too. It explains…" He sat on the bed and paused until Zoë looked at him. "Zoë…She was diagnosed with cancer but that's not how she died. She didn't want to fight, face the truth. She took her own life. She never told me…spoke to me. I found out from Dana, when she did the autopsy."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Fox." Zoë sat beside him.

"It mattered enough for her to give you a way to find out. Why would she want to tell you?" Mulder thought after his mother's death petty jealousy was well behind him, but even from beyond the grave she could tell him once again that her beautiful and complicated daughter Samantha was her chosen child.

"She is trying to explain…to ask my forgiveness."

"How, how can she be doing that?" Mulder raised his voice.

"She told me everything, years ago. This is just the proof."

"What? What did she tell you? You were eight years old. Why couldn't she tell me?"

"It was my bedtime story. That's all."

_Seven-year-old Samantha lay face down on her bed, chest heaving, heart racing her room disheveled from her tantrum, although she was fast forgetting what had upset her. Tina sat beside her and rubbed her daughter's back. Samantha sat up and crawled into her mother's arms._

_"Tell me my story, Mommy, please."_

_"Don't you know it well enough to tell it to me?"_

_"Yes, but I want to hear it," Samantha yawned._

_"Alright. It's a very important story and you must never forget it."_

_"Yes."_

_"Once upon a time in an ancient kingdom there lived a King and Queen. And the King was just and kind and the Queen compassionate and devoted, and they were very much in love. Soon they had a Prince and Princess and the children brought good fortune and the entire kingdom loved them and everyone was happy. _

_"The Prince was very brave and strong and so they trained him to be a knight so that he would be ready for any uncertainty the future might bring. And sure enough far away in the West an evil dragon was waking and wanted to destroy the peaceful little kingdom. _

_"So the King and Queen thought and thought but there was nothing to be done. They had to send the Prince off to slay the dragon and keep the Princess safe so that she could grow up and grow beautiful and eventually marry and have her own children to rule the kingdom."_

_"What happens next Momma? You never tell me what happens next." Samantha was once again completely engrossed in the story._

_"I hoped that it would be a happy ending, that the Prince would defeat the dragon, offer it what it needed so that it would leave them alone," Tina continued._

_"That's not what happens?" Samantha knit her little brow._

_"No. Before they could send the Prince off to face the dragon the little Princess became ill. And they knew that her children could be sick as well and they wouldn't be able to rule the kingdom and so they must send her away instead. She had to be strong and courageous and maybe the dragon would be appeased." Tina kept her face away from her daughter crying quietly over the little girl's head._

_"And then what happened?" Samantha was worried._

_"I…I don't know Baby. I may never know but one day you will. I hope that it's a happy ending and that you can tell it to me." She kissed her daughter's cheek and placed her under the covers. "Good Night sweetheart. Always remember, I love you."_

"And from that you get that she is trying to atone for what was done to you?" While he caught the prince and princess references he saw in the story only another angry voice telling him once again that he had failed to protect his sister.

"Don't you understand? They were going to let you be taken. But then when they found out that I was bipolar like her…they changed their mind. Heaven forbid the perfect family have a daughter with a mental disorder."

"Yes much better to create the scandal of the decade among the Martha's Vineyard elite."

"That story was her way of telling me the truth." 'You should have been taken. They wanted to keep me.' Hung unsaid between them.

"And why couldn't she tell me?" Mulder was hurt that even with a twenty-year absence his sister could claim a closer relationship with his mother.

"None of it matters. What they did or what their reasons were. She can't make up for what happened to me with a fairytale." Zoë returned the records to the trunk and locked it. In a way it was easier for her not to care. They had not been her parents for very long. She had another set of family memories with Edward Beauford. But it was not so simple for Mulder. He had years and years after Samantha and all of them had not been bad. There had been holidays, birthdays, high school basketball. He could not dismiss his parents as devoid of every descent feeling so readily.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	9. Chapter 8

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Mulder stepped into the Scully home, a Christmas guest. He placed his and Zoë's bags by the front door.

"They're in the kitchen making candy," Tara said closing the door behind them. Mulder spied Dana and Emily through the doorframe, heard the noisy giggling. He felt a degree of guilt. After the endless parade of paranormal monsters he had exposed her to, if Dana wanted happy, normal, wanted the delightful sensation of her daughter kissing confectioner's sugar off her nose she was well entitled. And if the privilege truncated her life who was he to begrudge her.

"Dana, show your guest to your room," Maggie instructed joining him in the hallway bringing with her the sent of cinnamon and vanilla, which flooded Mulder with a nostalgic, feeling of homecoming.

"I'll be right there. Just let me finish up," Dana said wiping Emily's hands and face and sneaking a small kiss.

"Dana's room?" Mulder asked. There was no delicate way to broach the topic of sleeping arrangements with your partner's mother.

"Well you are welcome to the couch but some Christmas pleasantries are easier to exchange when you're in the same bed." Maggie did not share his difficulty discussing the topic. "My frankness surprises you?"

"Well yes. You're so Catholic."

Maggie laughed at his bewildered expression. "My daughter is an adult." She lowered her voice not wanting Dana to hear. "Fox, when we waited in that hospital together. Waited for Dana to die, I saw how devastated you were. And I knew that any dangers you two were facing, when you came up against a moment, when a decision needed to be made, you would give your life for hers. I can hardly ask for anyone to love her more." For the first time since her abduction, her cancer, since his quest martyred her, he felt worthy of her. No one could love her with more devotion and maybe that made him good enough.

"Follow me," Dana said by his side as she led him up the stairs. Mulder glanced at the family photos lining the stairwell. Maggie and Bill standing outside the wedding chapel. Four toe headed moppets in stair step order. Holidays, little league, Charlie in uniform, Dana graduating from the academy, and at the top Matthew professionally photographed holding his infant brother Paul. "How did it go?"

"Fine, everything went well. She seems ok with everything. We decided to sell the house. Or rather she gave me permission. She doesn't want anything…even things from Mom," Mulder explained. "That's good, I guess."

"You were hoping that taking her home would be as meaningful for her as it was for you." Dana's easily saw what bothered him.

"All of these years I expected to find her in any number of conditions, alive and well and carrying out a relatively normal, life wasn't one. It's selfish, but I wanted to fix her. I want to be her brother again." Mulder stopped as Scully stood by her room.

"You are. You just don't understand how adult siblings behave. My brothers and I are still family, we love each other but we're all grown up. We have different lives. We're lucky to talk on the phone a couple of times a month. It doesn't mean I love them less." Dana opened the door.

Dana's bedroom in her family home. It was not a perfectly preserved museum to a precocious adolescent but a room that had grown and changed with her. Although he knew she had been close to her father, Mulder had never considered the active and integral part her family still held in her life.

Mulder glanced into the open closet. The clothes she kept there were not those of the tailored g-woman he knew. They were jeans and sweaters, soft, comfortable, clothes for lounging and relaxing, and a few puritanical floral dresses for Mass he supposed.

"I never realized how much time you spend with your mother," Mulder said. No wonder she balked when he sent them out of town with little more to go on than outrageous claims and unsubstantiated sightings. She had plans, family, a routine.

"We go to church together a few times a month. Sometimes I come over for dinner on Saturday and stay the night sometimes. You can leave some of your things here if you like…" she motioned to the chest of drawers, "or bring some over…if you want to come with me."

A few months ago he believed they had crossed the ultimate threshold in their personal relationship, the last line of intimacy, exploring her body after years spent exploring her mind. He thought there wasn't anything left to learn about her, nothing for her to hold back. He was wrong. "You always surprise me. Every time I think I know everything about you, your favorite book, favorite food, the direction you turn in your sleep. There is something more."

"No, there isn't. I am completely open with you."

"I know. That isn't want I'm talking about. Being here with you. It's a whole different part of your life."

"Yeah." Scully smiled sitting on the bed.

"And when we decide to leave the X Files," Mulder continued sitting beside her, "we'll have a whole new set of circumstances to evaluate."

"Leave the X Files?"

"It's only a job, can't last forever. But if the world does go to the Devil in 2012, I want you by my side. I'm sorry about the things I said in London. I need you more than I can begin to express." Mulder paused. "Please don't tell her what I said…that there was ever a time when I didn't want her…I don't want either of you to think that." They understood that they were speaking of Emily.

"It's ok. I understand it wasn't about her." Dana leaned closer to him. "If our situations were reversed…I'd still think saving her is the right thing to do…but I wouldn't want you to sacrifice your life for hers. I would choose you with every ounce of feeling I have."

"And you would choose her with every ounce of moral fiber," Mulder concluded.

"Let's hope it never comes to that." Dana resolved to maintain a positive frame of mind, as she kissed him softly. "This is a little surreal for me. This is my room from when I was in high school."

"Any Catholic school girl fantasies I can fulfill?"

"I thought you were the one with the school girl fantasies."

"Oh right my mistake."

"Mummy," Emily called from the door.

"Hey sweetie." Dana smiled at her daughter and motioned for her to join them. "Zoë's back. Have you said hi to her?" Mulder was surprised that she attempted to dismiss Emily so quickly.

"No. She locked herself in Uncle Charlie's room." Emily told them. Mulder and Dana exchanged a knowing look.

"Bon jour Chere Mad'moiselle," Mulder greeted her.

"Bon jour Misuer Raynard," Emily answered jumping up on the bed.

Mulder experienced the moment of amazement common to all parents the first time they see that their child is possessed of mental acumen beyond her years. "Even in French you're a step ahead of me." He flattered her and Emily giggled. "What do I have to do to get a dad, daddy or papa out of you?" She shrugged after years of seclusion often in hospitals she was shy and much better at communicating with her piercing blue eyes than words. Mulder looked into them so like her mother's yet with their own unique nuance of meaning. "She has your eyes you know."

"Yes she'll have you wrapped around her little finger in no time," Dana said. "And with that pouty bottom lip that can get anything from me, there is no hope. I am afraid you are going to be unimaginably spoiled, my dear." She wrapped Emily in her arms.

"Do you love Mr. Fox?" Emily asked making her eyes as serious as she could.

"Yes, Emily. I am very much in love with him," Dana answered. Although she had told him of her feelings having them confirmed with such emphatic language in that low sultry voice sent a warm shiver up Mulder's spine.

"Good." Emily looked back and forth between them and snuggled into her mother's lap. "I don't want you to be alone when I have to go."

"No one is going to be alone. We'll see each other again soon. And you can call me or email me anytime."

The tender family moment was shrilly interrupted with a shriek from the back of the house as a glimpse of white streaked through the hall. Dana took Emily's hand and with Mulder walked downstairs.

Zoë was wrapped loosely in a white sheet standing on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. "Look! Look!" Zoë waved her left hand in the air and a diamond ring with a wide silver band caught the light. "You'll never guess! Charlie asked me to marry him!"

"Yes," Charlie said behind Mulder and Dana. "And I do expect an answer." He moved to Zoë.

"YES! Of coarse yes!" She jumped into his arms.

"Oh Charlie! Zoë! I am so happy for you!" Maggie embraced her son, after he placed Zoe in the ground.

"It was suppose to be a Christmas present but we were…kind of…having a moment." Charlie blushed slightly, standing in his navy blue bath robe surrounded by his family. It was not a moment he intended to share with them.

"And Zoë…you are so lovely. And you've made my son so very happy," Maggie sighed taking in her future daughter-in-law's beaming smile. She pulled Zoë into a tight hug. "You remind me so much of my Melissa." There was a reference Mulder could have lived without. He blamed himself for Melissa's assassination, not that he had ever discussed the subject with anyone but Dana and then only once and only briefly.

"She is nothing like Melissa," Bill bulldozed his way into the conversation ready for combat.

"Yes she is."

"Melissa was…how shall I put this, not as free with her affection…" Bill dug, however both Dana and Maggie laughed loudly.

"You can relax Bill. I'm not trying to take her place," Zoë said as she somehow wrangle Maggie to the couch and sat with her head tucked on Mrs. Scully's shoulder, a pose her children had often enjoyed in their younger days. "Tell me about her," Zoë asked.

"Oh she was beautiful."

"Like your Dana?"

"No…Dana is beautiful too. I got lucky with my daughters…all of my children but Melissa looked like my mother and Dana looks like her father." Maggie twirled her fingers through Zoë long hair. "Missy embraced her life, she had such passion, in a way I don't think her father or I were prepared for her. She loved so easily and so well. I learned so much through her life."

"I think I would have liked her." Zoë nuzzled closer to Maggie. "It has been such a long time since I had a mother much of any kind of family really."

"Well you have one now." Maggie wrapped an arm across Zoë's back. "I'll even see to it Bill behaves." They chuckled.

Mulder projected, he hoped contented pride, however he was boiling with jealousy. How had his bratty, outrageous little sister, waltzed into the Scully home and stolen a front row seat? He had been in that line for years! 'Mrs. Scully likes me best. So there!' He found himself wanting to scream. Although he did not let on, he took pleasure in the knowledge that Maggie Scully respected him, worried for him, trusted him.

He almost laughed out loud. It had not taken long for sibling rivalry to rear its ugly head. Dana was right he was Zoë's brother. Mulder had so long considered family, normalcy, everyday routine banal yet now he marveled at the complexity of emotions, and complicated relationships present in one group of related individuals. And this was a relatively, happy, functional family.

The X Files were not the only place to find wonder and challenge, he thought as a pang of insight churned in his mind. Should they be placing the bridge to their families in this emotionally charged, high-strung, woman? Admittedly he was growing very fond of Zoë and wanted to believe the best of her as a big brother should but when her extreme behavior and lifestyle caught up to Charlie a line would be drawn and certainly Dana would be standing fast by her brother.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Uh…Hello Fox," Maggie, said when he opened the door. She had expected to find her daughter at home.

"Um…Mrs. Scully…hi." Mulder did not know how to act. Mrs. Scully made it clear that she approved of his involvement with her daughter, yet he still found it awkward. After all involvement did not equal obvious cohabitation. "Come in." He moved aside and she entered the apartment.

"I…uh…Dana invited me for dinner. I was in the neighborhood early. I didn't think…"

"It's ok. Take a seat. She ran to the bank. She should be back soon."

"I uh…I picked up your mail from the box." Maggie handed over a half dozen envelopes. Mulder flipped through them perfunctorily, but one caught his attention and he stopped. "What is it Fox?" Maggie asked.

"It's from the hospital. Dana must have gone in for her first series of tests since the chip was removed. She didn't tell me." He had hoped that she would want him by her side for her cancer screenings. "She won't let herself depend on anyone." He knew that about her better than anyone and at one time Mulder believed he could handle it. He even kidded himself that it was mutual.

He had been known to ditch her and go his own way but not like this. Not when there was no danger involved. He only did it to protect her. He could just as easily have gone with her. He wanted to yell at her 'need me, use me, let me in.'

"How is she Fox? Is she ok? Are the nosebleeds back?" Something in Mulder's body language warned her that the news was not good.

"No. No nosebleeds. That I know of anyway. But something is wrong. She has lost weight. She's so tired lately. She takes naps. When she comes to bed her hands and feet are so cold. It's not like her."

"Open the envelope," Maggie instructed but he hesitated. "We both know she's not going to tell us. And if she is sick we should know as soon as possible."

Mulder opened the white legal sized envelope. As he suspected they were results for various medical test. He did not know how to read them but he continued to scan the page for anything familiar. Finally on the second page he found it. He felt his lungs collapse. Maggie watched as fell to his knees.

"What is it, Fox?" she asked gripped with panic.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana entered her apartment. She expected her mother to be there. She also expected Mulder to be there. He had not said that he was going out nor had he called her cell. "Hey guys! Anybody home?" She called. No answer, but the cd player was playing through one of her classical selections.

In the kitchen she found a cup of herbal tea in a mug with her name spelled on the outside. Her curiosity peaked. Something was up. In the bedroom her silk, pjs were laid out for her and behind the half open bathroom door she could see a steaming hot bubble bath waiting.

Who was she to argue? Grabbing her tea, she quickly stripped, sank into the suds and let them ease the tension from her aching joints. After her bath she dressed in her pjs and finished her tea when she heard the bolt turn in the front lock.

"Hey, your home!" Mulder welcomed her warmly.

"How are you sweetheart." Her mother with elaborate enthusiasm kissed her forehead and pushed her into the overstuffed chair. "Sit, rest."

"Ok, and why am I sitting and resting? And why are you guys being spooky?"

"We have to tell you Dana," Maggie began.

"We…we did something wrong," Mulder cut in.

"Now you mustn't blame Fox. I put him up to it," Maggie explained.

"Wow spooky to creepy in under a minuet," Dana said noting that their mood seemed a little too bright.

"Your test results came in from the hospital." Mulder sat on the coffee table and took her hand.

"We opened them Dana. It was my idea. I had to know that you were alright," Maggie explained taking the blame.

Dana wanted to be upset with them but it was difficult because she loved them both so much and because apparently it was good news otherwise they wouldn't be reacting this way. "I know I should have told you but I'm taking it that I'm fine," she said and tried to get up but Mulder kept her hand. He looked at Maggie to see if she were going to continue.

"You tell her Fox," Maggie cued.

"Dana Scully you are pregnant. You're going to have a baby, our baby." Mulder smiled with more genuine warmth than she had ever seen confirming yet again how very much he wanted a child with her.

Dana felt a sharp pain behind her chest. It truly was like being stabbed through the heart. "No, Fox. I'm sorry you read the tests. I'm sorry you got your hopes up. I can't get pregnant. We both know that." She squeezed his hand as she let him down. "Hospitals get false positives all the time. That's far more likely, than me being pregnant."

"You're wrong. I knew you'd react this way. I called the hospital. They still had a sample of your blood. I took it to the FBI lab. I called in a favor. This is from our lab." Mulder handed her a sheet of paper with the results printed out. "It's no mistake."

Of all the ways Maggie had imagined for her daughter to react, it was never with the surprised horror that spread over Dana's features. "What have I done? What if my cancer comes back?" Dana said as she inhaled.

"Stop it, Dana," Maggie ordered. Mulder had never seen Mrs. Scully's formidable maternal side. "You are fine and worrying yourself isn't good for you or the baby. This is what you've been wanting. It's time to be happy."

"I'm pregnant," Dana whispered to herself, trying to believe it. She stood to embrace Mulder.

"Our baby," Mulder said. Even when they were in the process of in vitro the idea of actually having a baby with Dana was always ethereal. This bond would be tangible a permanent living tether between them. Admittedly they had Emily and they were both eager to love her but their duty to her would be different than to this child. He would, see this baby growing inside its mother, change diapers, feed bottles, keep safe.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	10. Chapter 9

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"You ready?" Dana whispered in his ear. Her voice was so slightly pinched anyone else would have missed it but not Mulder.

"You want me to go in with you?" He pretended he was not acutely aware of her wishes.

"I've preformed 96 autopsies for you, sat through endless hours in unmarked cars on stakeouts, and if you even try to get out of this I'll go beast woman on you," she continued speaking in a language of idioms, entirely their own.

"So my choices are beast womaned by you or ass kicked by him?"

"He won't kick your ass. Why should he? He doesn't even know you're involved."

"Oh yeah Agent Scully we've been so stealthy." Mulder impersonated Gomer Pyle. He rolled his eyes in an expression Dana found adorable if exasperating. "He'll know before you finish the sentence."

"Agents," Walter Skinner said opening the door of his office. They stood, walked inside and took their customary seats in front of their boss's desk. "You requested this meeting Agent Scully." He formally turned the floor over to her.

"Yes. Actually I have some paper work to hand in. I could have submitted it through the proper channels but I wanted to give it to you personally." Dana handed him a manila folder.

Skinner assumed that they were once again trying to launch a covert investigation and that they needed his help staying off of the FBI's official radar. He opened the folder. "Oh My God! Dana this means?" The folder contained insurance claim forms for prenatal care and a request for maternity leave.

"Yes sir. I'm pregnant." Dana smiled at him. If only she knew how enchanting her smiles were he was certain she would do it more often. "Who knew that unprotected sex was the leading cause? You'd think they would have mentioned that in medical school."

"Congratulations. I thought…I am so happy for you. Were you trying?" The question was far too personal for a boss but over the years the bond between the Assistant Director and his two renegade agents had come to supersede professional.

"Yes…" Mulder answered as Scully said, "No…"

"We were," he continued speaking over Dana.

"Then we weren't…"

"I don't know…"

"But it happened," Dana exhaled nipping her desire to cry. Whether it was hormones or extreme, unaccustomed happiness she was not going to break down in front of her boss, at least not at work.

"We're very happy," Mulder confirmed.

"Allow me to take you to lunch," Skinner offered.

"No sir not necessary truly. I…we just wanted to tell you in person," Dana declined.

"I insist." Skinner stood.

"Ok if you're sure," she accepted. "I should stop by personal and file the claim forms." Mulder stood to go with her.

"We'll meet you in the bullpen," Skinner said stopping Mulder from exiting. Dana cast a sympathetic glance at him knowing they had reached the ass-kicking portion of the meeting.

"I am happy for you Mulder. You and Dana have the makings of a terrific family," Skinner began amicably but continued, "But I want to reinforce that you just wrote a check and you're going to pay this balance. You are not running around after little green men any more. She deserves you fully invested and committed to her."

"Sir I respect you and you have been a good friend to Dana, to both of us, so I am going to pretend that this is any of your business," Mulder said. It occurred to him for the first time how much shared experience Dana had with their boss. They had worked together to save his ass dozens of times, sat together at his bedside waiting a prognosis modern science would be unable to explain. And with Dana's desire to please authoritarian males, Skinner must have become like a surrogate father. "This decision was mutual."

"Good," Skinner said in his gruff military voice, which worked so well at garnering compliance from any other of his agents. "After almost a decade of following you over hell's half acre it's about her now."

"I assure you sir," Mulder continued although Skinner was almost out of leeway. "If she says she wants to move to Springfield and buy a minivan I'll ask what color."

The men exited the office and made their way to the bullpen. "Sir…You know us better than anyone," Mulder spoke, using the proximity to other federal employees to downplay the emotional nature of the conversation. "I love her."

It dawned on Skinner that perhaps Mulder also needed a paternal approval. "I know how much you care for her. She is lucky to have you." It was all that needed to be said between the two. They walked over to Dana standing at the elevator bank.

"Did you leave him some ass sir?" she asked. "I know how much you enjoy kicking it but I've grown quite fond of it myself." Mulder chortled, uncomfortably. For years she had so rarely flirted with him that now the wicked little lines she tossed around casually never failed to catch him off guard. Publicly flirting Dana was yet another aspect of her personality he had yet to adjust to.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

April 10, 2001

Zoë entered her building, hoping to avoid any gawkers, fans, or paparazzi. She ached from the root of her hair follicles to the beds of her toenails. Fans could not imagine what labor intensive work went into a television series. With her last ounce of energy she turned the key in the lock and opened the door to her flat. It closed behind her but she did not bother to turn on the light.

Powerful arms abruptly shoved her back against the door and a demanding mouth pressed harshly against her lips. She identified the smells of leather, and aftershave as her knee came up to connect swiftly with a groin. "What the hell are you doing here?" She tried to hide the evidence of her racing pulse and rapid breath.

"All this time you should know by now," he grinned and her stomach churned with a combination of revulsion and desire.

"Get the fuck out!" Zoë ordered.

"I know you don't mean that." He moved close to her again.

"I don't have time for you. Leave!"

"Oh yes, you're engaged now. Well, you should be more aware than anyone that promises can be broken." He moved closer to her.

"What the hell! How do you know that? Do you have surveillance equipment up my arse?"

"Oh I've had a lot of things up your ass," he laughed and she pushed him away. "If I were you I'd be very nice to me. That golden haired lamb of yours may depend on it." He played his trump card and instantly had Zoë's undivided attention.

"What? What do you know? Where is she?" Zoë had no way to tell the extent to which she was being manipulated only that she was being manipulated to some degree.

"Relax she is asleep snug in her bed visions of sugar plums dance in her head. But I wouldn't let her out of my sight if I were you." He pinned her arms behind her back. Zoë gasped as his lips descended on hers again. Finally she turned her head sharply away and broke contact. "Be nice to me Zoë. More depends on this than you know. Dana's baby is in danger too."

Inside Zoë was a confused mess but she played the scene with confidence. "Now I know you're lying. Dana can't get pregnant."

"Yesterday's news. Call her."

"Even if any of this is true…You are the last person to help. You fool yourself that you're anything more than a pawn."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	11. Chapter 10

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Author's Note: Thanks so much to Elizabethanne for the beta. I was beginning to waffle. And thanks to everyone who is reading. It has turned out to be such a long journey. Bear with me a little longer it is almost complete.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

October 16, 2001

'William Charles Scully-Mulder,' Dana wrote across the death certificate, as a shudder arpeggiated along her spine. They had chosen the name for a precise reason: no one could doubt the lineage of such a name. She was still in her robe and pajamas having not bothered to dress, convalescing in her mother's home.

Mulder tossed the tabloid on the corner table as he entered the study. He had been keeping up with Zoë's tempestuous behavior. Drunken arguments, indecent clothing, string of men and women she had been linked with. His big brother instincts were to help her, protect her, kick Charlie's butt however he could not. He lived a continent away and his own problems usurped his attention.

He stood beside his worn partner. She yawned and rested her head against his chest. "How are you holding up?" After years filled with the unexplained, forty-eight hours ago, Mulder had witnessed an event unequaled in its splendor. In a small, secluded bunker built into the side of a hill, his son had been born.

The striking eyes that he had seen from both sides of a standard issue .45 cal, the jaw he had watched harrowed and determined fighting an aggressive cancer, the lips he had felt breathless and uncertain parting against his, that lovely face contorted in an expression of painful ecstasy as Dana Scully's soul ripped in two, her diminutive body opened and a perfect little spirit emerged. Mulder could only associate the tiny scrap of life clinging to his pale trembling mother with Dana. He was something far too pure, too innocent to be connected to his father.

They had been unable to procure much in the way of medical equipment to help with the birth and she refused the vicodin. _'The first few feedings are the most important for the immune system. I don't want the pain killers to cause any side effect for him.' _Mulder had not bothered to explain the absurdity of her argument. _'Please,' she whispered to him, their baby at her breast, Mulder's arms around her, 'don't take him until I wake up. I want to see him again. I want to feed him one more time.' _He held them for those few moments while she slept, and for the first time in his adult life felt as though he belonged, felt the metaphysical tug on his heartstrings as his soul locked into place like a puzzle piece, which fit with no pounding or prodding.

How had he missed the wonder of something so normal? Had he been looking so hard for something superlative and inexplicable that he was immune to the miracle inherent in the most natural and fundamental of human experience?

"I'm numb." Dana's voice brought him back to the present. "I want it to be over. Did you make the funeral arrangements?"

"Yes. Cremation. Less evidence. The ceremony is scheduled for Saturday. I think we should keep it small." Mulder told her running his fingers through her oily hair. Her body was going through dramatic post partum changes and not being able to nurse the infant took its toll on her system.

"I finished the autopsy report this morning. I documented a hypodermic puncture on the left metatarsal, and morphine in his system." Dana wondered, when the report reached its target audience, would that smoking bastard believe that one of his over eager assigns had poisoned her son, before receiving orders; or would he believe her capable of something so Medean.

Would he be upset to learn the lengths they had gone to? And after he had helped restored her ability to conceive at what must have been great personal risk. Would he be furious. They had in essence thrown his gift back in his face.

"You've been so strong, Dana and I promise, I will make it up to you. Wait until you see the house. It's a colonial but completely renovated. There's a pond on the property a grove of maple trees." Mulder noticed the fullness of her head leaning into him. "You should rest. Everyone is expecting to see a bereaved, grieving mother," he said, leading her up to her bedroom. He expected protestations, her almost obligatory 'I'm fine' but she accepted his ministrations resignedly. He smoothed the blank up to her chin before he left the room.

Dana tried to relax took breath after breath trying to clear her mind but her lactating breasts felt near exploding, and her high wired neurons would not shut down. She remembered when it all started. When she knew it was all going wrong:

April 10, 2001

Mulder woke her late in the night. "We have to go." He told her.

"What? What's going on? It's the middle of the night," she said confused her voice low and relaxed. At the time she feared it was an X File; that Mulder once again wanted to run off on a moment's notice; chasing nightmares.

"Zoë…called. She needs us. We have to go to London."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. She was very vague. She's insisting on talking in person. She sounded a little paranoid," Mulder explained all he knew.

"Must be a genetic thing," Dana joked, the last time for many months.

The flight to London was silent and uneventful. Mulder took some Benadryl and slept but Dana refused, afraid to ingest anything with potential side effects in her condition. To their mutual surprise it was Charlie who greeted them at the airport.

"So what's going on?" Mulder skipped pleasantries.

"I don't know. Zoë asked me to pick you guys up. I thought you would know." He told them.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Zoë opened the door scarcely wide enough to admit them. Inside was dark but they could make out angles of expensive modern furniture and decorations. Mulder sensed the malicious presence even in the ambient light. "What the hell are you doing here?" Mulder echoed his sister's words some sixteen hours later.

"Saving your asses. You have no idea what you've done." The attractive man grinned gloating in his superior knowledge.

"Who is he?" Charlie forced himself into a dynamic he knew nothing of.

"He's my ex-husband," Zoë admitted refusing to look at her fiancé.

"You married Alexander Krycek!" On an emotional carousel, Mulder's feelings were unable to stop in any one place. Anger, fear, jealousy, even rage danced round and round, in his head.

"You've been married!" Charlie's emotions knew exactly where to land.

"Why did you think she wasn't wearing underwear the night you met? They were soaked and waded in my breast pocket." Krycek took pleasure in the revelation. "Don't look so shocked Zoë. I knew what you were doing in that closet. You're as predictable as a cat in heat."

"Stop it!" Zoë sprang at him but he caught her arm as she raised it to slap him. "Tell them why you're here."

"The chip you put in that kid's neck, it's a real damned if you do, damned if you don't." He cautiously released her. "Over a two year period it will build a superhuman immune system. It worked for both you and Scully. When is the last time you were sick? And with everything you've exposed yourself to Zoë…well you see what I mean."

"So I won't relapse?" Dana asked thinking of the life sharing her body.

Krycek smiled with a knowledge that froze Dana to her core. "No, nothing short of a sudden stop from a fifty foot free fall can harm you. But that chip is also traceable. And there are many members of the Syndicate who want to know more about it, for a variety of reasons. I wouldn't let Emily out of my sight."

Dana sat in an over stuffed armchair. "There's more isn't there."

"Yes, they are very interested in your little secret," he said in a mock whisper.

"You're wrong. Dana can't get pregnant," Zoë protested again willing this night not to be true.

"Our mutual smoking friend changed all of that." Krycek confirmed. "When he took you on that cross country excursion. You didn't fall asleep. As you suspected you were drugged."

"What did he do to her?" Mulder demanded, fighting the impulse to interrogate his adversary old school style.

"He arranged for her ova to be returned. We were wondering what took you so long to knock her up." Krycek's smug insinuations put them all on edge. "It seems as long as she had the chip, her immune system was attacking your contribution." He looked at Mulder. "Once it was removed it relaxed just enough for implantation."

"They aren't getting anywhere near my baby." Dana followed the obvious conclusions.

"One way to stop them, if you've got the nerve."

"What do we have to do to?" Mulder said eager for a plan.

"She already knows." Krycek's bottomless, brown eyes engulfed Dana in an instant of despair.

"No, I won't."

"How will you feel Dana," Krycek used her first name, "when your child is ripped from your arms? You will spend the rest of your life imagining what test, what tortures they are subjecting it to. And let me assure you even your darkest dreams are nowhere near as terrifying as what they will do. End it now while you're in control," He encouraged.

"Get out of here Krycek. You've given us your information." Mulder stood to his full height. He would not allow this pernicious man to upset Dana.

"You're going to need my help."

"And why would you help us?" Mulder stepped to him causing Krycek to step back.

"Ask your sister."

"I'm asking you, you lying son of a bitch." Mulder's muscles tensed.

"He wouldn't lie to me," Zoë stated. "He's in love with me." Charlie tossed his head violently away from her.

"As adorable as the act is, Zoë, I know you aren't confusing what I feel for you with love," Krycek teased standing between her and Charlie.

"Get out. You are the last person I would turn to for help," Zoë yelled back in his face.

"You'll regret that. Never look a gift horse in the mouth," Krycek said, smirking out his exit line.

"Greek gift horse?" She snapped back.

The door slammed and they stood in silence not knowing what to address first.

"Married?" Charlie found his voice, having bit his tongue while Krycek was present.

"To Alex Krycek?" Mulder wanted to take up for his sister but _Alex Krycek._ Could there be any worse betrayal?

"Divorced, Charlie," Zoë repeated using his name, hoping Mulder would back off.

"You didn't tell me you were married when we met?"

"I didn't tell you my name that night either but that didn't seem to bother you."

"That's different and you know it."

"I'm divorced! This doesn't matter now." She understood that this was upsetting but there were more important matters at hand.

"The lies you told me don't matter?!" Charlie also knew there were more urgent subjects in need of discussion but he could not move past her marriage.

"I never lied to you. I just didn't tell you."

"Sure you did. 'I've never cared for anyone this way. I feel so at peace when I'm with you. I've never been in love before.' That meant something to me!" Charlie shouted seeing what a mockery their time together had been.

"It is true. I do love you. What I feel for you is unique." Zoë's eyes shown in the dim light, the image so appealing that Charlie was tempted to forgive her.

"Please, you were his wife. Did that mean nothing to you? You never told him that you loved him? Never told him all of the things you told me?" Charlie needed to leave quickly before her disarming manner defeated him.

Dana caught her brother's arm as he stormed out. "You can't leave." It was too late Charlie pulled away and slammed the door.

Zoë ran after him but dissolved into a sobbing heap when she hit the closed door. Mulder picked her up and sat with her on the couch.

"Zoë where is your medication?" Dana asked believing it would help calm her.

"NO! No, I don't need it. Charlie walked out on me. Doesn't mean I need drugs," she answered.

Mulder held her in his lap and Dana sat beside them as Zoë's sobs gradually turned into large hiccoughs. Her brother liked this new role of comforter and caretaker, of having a position in a family. It was refreshing to leave off self-centered brooding and feel beneficial to another person. In a few minutes she seemed composed if not better.

"Everything will work out. I'll talk to him," Dana offered.

"No, if he comes back I want it to be because he wants to."

"He will. I know him. He's overwhelmed, probably shocked realizing how very much he cares for you. He'll come around," Dana said hoping her analysis was correct. "Will you two be alright? I'd like to talk to Emily." She stood.

"It's late. I'm sure she's sleeping," Mulder said.

"Then I'll hold her," Dana replied, Mulder observing a soft, maternal lilt to her voice, as she left them.

"How's she doing?" Zoë asked.

"Dana?" Mulder's brain was still on overload.

"Yeah, with the pregnancy. Is she driving you crazy?"

"No. She loves all of the symptoms. I'm not sure she believed she was pregnant until the morning sickness started. I woke up one day and found her hunched over the toilet with this heroic expression on her face," Mulder chuckled.

"Nausea, a mother's badge of honor."

"She's convinced she's showing."

'You've got to be kidding."

"And she thinks she's going to blossom into Shamu over night. First thing she does when she wakes up is spend thirty minutes looking at her stomach." Mulder delighted in talking to someone about these experiences. So far Maggie and Skinner were the only people who knew and he did not share personal anecdotes with either. "One day she went through her closet and found these old suits she wore back when we started working together. I didn't know she still had them. She was a frump queen, five sizes too big, shoulder pads like the Green Bay Packers. She thinks she can use them for maternity clothes."

"She dressed that badly?" There it was a small laugh that wrinkled Zoë's nose. In their other life, how many times had he seen that little idiosyncrasy get her off the hook with their parents? "She's so stylish now. Did she lose a lot of weight?"

"No. Back then, I think she was trying not to look too feminine or alluring. Girl in the boy's club complex."

Zoë rolled her eyes. "Did it work? Did it take seeing her in a tapered waist and a plunging neckline before you were interested?"

"That's not true. I was crazy about her but when she started wearing tailored jackets and those 'come fuck me' heals, I knew she was ready to be seen as a woman, and that she wasn't going to report me for any tailhook violations." Without over thinking it they began rediscovering their siblingship.

"All that from something as small as a hemline. I thought I could have that with him." Zoë's chin buttoned, an homage to the eight-year-old girl, learning for the first time that she would not always get her way.

"Zoë," Mulder hesitated as he tested the boundaries of their reforged bond. "That doesn't happen seducing men in public utility rooms."

"Yeah I know, but I wanted it to be different with him. I thought he was different. Let me get up." Zoë stood. There was no more to say about Charlie and plenty of other decisions to be made. "I'll put the kettle on."

"I need to use your phone," Mulder said and Zoë pointed to the set on the corner table. "And I need you to come up with a place in London where we'll be safe from surveillance, where we can plan our next move."

"I know just the place," Zoë said leaving for the kitchen.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dana walked to the back of the flat. It wasn't difficult to guess which room was Emily's. She pulled back the covers and scooted, into the bed, next to the little girl. Emily nuzzled closer to her still groggy, slowly waking. She knew the risk in taking a child into her confidence but she refused to be controlled by Krycek or any other covert men. After all of the uncertainty and changes in this little girl's short life Dana would not blindside her daughter again.

"Mummy, you're here."

"Yes, I wanted to see you, talk to you," Dana whispered and Emily wrapped her arms around her mother snuggling to her bosom. "Mr. Fox and I are going to have a baby."

Emily beamed up at her. "Can I be the sister?"

"Yes, sweetie. You will be the sister."

"Where is the baby? Can we go see him?"

"No, not yet. Babies have to grow inside their mommies until they are strong enough to be born." Dana had no idea how to explain 'where babies come from' to a six year old or indeed how much Emily already knew.

Emily sat and moved her face closer to Dana, looking in her ears and eyes. Dana opened her mouth so that Emily could look inside. "Hello Baby," the little girl called.

Dana chortled. "They grow in the mommies' tummies." Emily got the idea threw back the blanked and slid down to Dana's still slender stomach.

"Hello Baby." Emily kissed the exposed skin where Dana's sweater had ridden up. The contact sent a volt though her. She realized how selfish she had become with physical contact. Yes there was Mulder but he was one man and it had taken years for her to become comfortable with his touch. She vowed to do better.

Emily however had none of Dana's reservations: she craved contact with her mother. She pressed her cheek firmly against Dana's abdomen. "I'm your big sister, so I'm the boss."

"Emily sweetie there is something very important you have to do for me though." Dana looked into the mirrored, earnest, blue eyes. "We can't tell anyone else about this, not yet."

Emily pinned her with an eerie expression of understanding. "You're afraid…that the baby will be sick like me." Dana gasped unsettled by the young ones insight. "It's ok. If he gets sick you can fix him…like you fixed me." Emily moved back into her mother's arms and yawned.

"How are you feeling?" Mulder asked entering the room and sliding onto the bed beside Dana.

"Fine." There it was her default answer but she determined to try harder for him. He wasn't the only one needing to compromise. They were trying to begin a life together and that would mean changes for her as well. "I don't know," she laughed softly. "It makes sense, doesn't it? I mean you and me…like having a child could be some simple matter of labor and delivery."

"Yeah what were we thinking?" Mulder moved under her so she could rest her head against him. "I called in the cavalry." By this Dana knew he meant the Gunmen. He reached over her and ran his fingers over a lock of Emily's golden bob. "She is beautiful." He whispered holding his family safe and peaceful for one more night.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	12. Chapter 11

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Are you insane? No, way!" Zoë objected to the plan her brother outlined. For their covert meeting she had taken them to the London Eye. The glass pods were sound proof and it was unlikely that the men threatening them could predict they would gather at the large observation wheel. It seemed the least likely place for such a purpose. Sadly, the assembled company ignored the view of the city that passed below them as the pod slowly revolved.

"It's the best course of action. Hide her in plain sight. The same way they hid you," Mulder insisted standing up to her.

"I am not subjecting her to what I went through. It's shit Fox. Shit!"

"She's hot when she's angry," Langley said, shocked that the star of his favorite television series was the long sought after Samantha Mulder.

"Whoa, she's his sister," Frohicke reminded him. "That makes her off limits for you L-man, law of the brotherhood." The gunmen had flown in on a moments notice to assist in the plan to keep Emily, Dana and her baby safe. But conspiracies, and dark plots were commonplace for them. Langley was far more interested in the celebrity standing in their midst. That they could out smart the Syndicate was a given.

"Celebrities don't disappear. Get her a part on your show. They won't be able to touch her," Mulder insisted. "You'll be with her everyday."

"No. It's crazy," Zoë refused. "You want to protect her my exposing her to every sicko out there?"

"Well, I'm sorry my go to plan isn't sleep with half the members of the Syndicate." As a psychologist Mulder knew he was lashing out at her for her past with Krycek yet he could not stop himself from venting.

"You bastard," Zoë shouted lunging at him, not thinking about the dual insult as she bestowed it. If there were not so much on the line, if things were less intense it might have been funny.

Byers pulled her back. "You're some eighty five feet above the Thames in a glass bubble. You don't want to throw your weight against the walls." He reminded her.

"The pods are bullet proof. They won't break. Why do you think we're here?" The instant of anger had past as happens between brothers and sisters. "Fox I need you to understand. Alex and I…"

"Don't! I don't want to know."

"Yes you do. You can't let it go," Zoë countered. "I'm not saying that our marriage was arranged or that we were forced into it. There was an attraction but Edward certainly encouraged us. I'm sure he thought the association would keep me safe and Alex wanted the alliance to my father. We were young and stupid but they made it easy for us. But that doesn't change the fact that, this isn't good for Emily."

"I have something to say about that too. I'm her father. You and Dana find that pretty easy to forget. You've decided where she will live, when I will see her. Well, I'm deciding this. You make sure her face is plastered from Hell to breakfast until we can have that chip removed."

"Tell him Dana. Tell him no. You can't want this for her." Zoë's appeal brought, the pontificating red head back from the edge of the observation platform where she stood looking out. She had been so lost, her mind spinning over the plan Mulder had outlined for her and her baby, that the tense moment between Mulder and Zoë gone unnoticed. She paused considering their situation.

"Trust him." Dana realized he was their best chance. "He knows these men better than anyone."

"What?" Mulder was taken back. "I've gotten you shot, drugged, abducted."

"Yes you have and you have always saved me. You know what these men are capable of. So if you tell me to have our baby, in an undisclosed location, with little medical intervention, while the guys stand guard, then that is what I will do." She looked intently at him and Mulder was humbled by her trust. Her life, the life of their child lay in the execution and secrecy of this plan. And with the whispered hope of life growing inside her, rested Dana's mental and emotional balance. After the longing, denial, false starts, failure at the eleventh hour would be fundamentally altering.

"We'll keep you safe Scully." Forhicke placed his hand on her shoulder. "State of the art surveillance, fenced off, observable from every angle. No one will get to your baby."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

October 16, 2001

Mulder took the small brown package from the mailbox, glad that Maggie had not checked the mail already. He walked back into the house and saw her putting together a lunch tray for Dana. "Please allow me," Mulder offered. He placed the mail on the kitchen counter and slipped the small box into the pocket of his jeans.

"Thanks, Fox." Maggie smiled although she wanted to check in on Dana. Since the birth of her grandchild, she deferred to him in matters concerning her daughter. They had not discussed their plans. Indeed she did not know what was going on. They only asked for her help in providing a place for Dana to rest. She wanted to ask them about the baby, prayed that whatever they had done, the infant was safe, hoped that in time she would see her grandchild. But she feared the answers to her questions, feared her daughter and pseudo son-in-law kept their own council for alarming reasons.

Mulder carried the tray upstairs. He turned the knob to the bedroom with his knee and kicked lightly on the door. The sound woke Dana and she sat up when she saw him enter with the soup.

"Here, your mom made you some food."

"Good. I'm actually really hungry."

Mulder placed the tray on the bedside table. "It should probably cool for a few minutes." The temperature, in all likelihood was fine but he needed an excuse not to place the obstacle across her lap. "Dana there is something I want to discuss with you. Everything we have done so far, it's all been for the sake of secrecy and safety."

"Shhh." Even in the security of her family home she feared who might be listening. "It's alright Fox. Everything is going to work out the way we wanted."

"No, it's not that. We haven't talked much about our plans together. What we want for us," Mulder said clumsily. "Isn't that what most couples do at this point, talk about the future? Their future together."

"Yes well, we will never be like most couples. You know that." She gave him that unmistakable Scully deadpan. But he was too preoccupied to appreciate it. He fumbled the box from his pocket and without speaking handed it to her.

Dana took it and tore off the paper to reveal a black velvet box. She turned her face to him, her expression more bewildered than when examining the most mystifying evidence.

"Open it." He half encouraged, half dared her. Dana pulled the lid back and inside there was a silver puzzle ring. The two bands were notched and twisted but when held the right way they locked together in perfect unison. The perfect other, Dana thought, Mulder again telling her how he felt without words. "I mean I know traditionally I should give you two completely separate rings, and that one of them should have a sizable stone."

"Are you…" She started to speak but he cut her off.

"If you want…" he began but realized that he was being a coward, using the strength of their love and history to propose without speaking. She deserved a moment far better than him waffling until he was certain of her answer. "Yes, Dana will you marry me?" He did not get on his knee but he did take her left hand in both of his.

"Of coarse, I love you Fox." She leaned into him and they kissed tenderly. They broke apart with a sigh and a laugh. Mulder wasted no time taking the ring and sliding it onto her finger.

"I finally figured that if you wanted to do the single mother thing, you wouldn't have asked a man so very much in love with you, for help."

"Worked that out all by yourself? You know they might have covered such things in your psychology lectures at Oxford," Dana teased reaching out to trace a finger across his jaw. "I never thought that you would want this."

"You thought I was too damaged that my past was too damning to be a suitable husband?"

"That's not want I mean. You've changed so much." Dana's comfort elicited a smile.

"I want to do it soon, before we go under cover. I want us to be married as Dana Scully and Fox Mulder."

"You think that's wise? We are trying to disappear."

"They know we're together. I think it's perfectly reasonable to believe that we would get married. And Mulder and Scully are not disappearing. We want them to know exactly where they are. That's why we're keeping your apartment and why we will be making appearances at appropriate times." He reminded her of some of the details of their strategy.

"We don't have much time then, not for planning a wedding."

"Leave it to me." Mulder knew exactly what he wanted and where he wanted to get married but remembered that Dana may have girlhood ideas about her wedding. "I mean if that's ok. We can wait if you want something big and elaborate. I want you to have anything you want."

"No. I'd like simple." She squeezed his hand and he felt the ring, press against the back of his palm. "But I am warning you if it's officiated by an Elvis impersonator, you're going to have a very lonely wedding night."

"Come on Dana, _don't be cruel to a heart that's true,_" he began to sing. Dana got out of the bed going to find her mother, Mulder followed her at the top of his lungs. _"Why should we be apart?"_

"Mom."

_"I really love you baby, cross my heart."_

She found Maggie in the study. "Mom, Mulder's restoring my reputation. He's making an honest woman of me." She showed her mother the ring. "We're getting married." The two women embraced.

"_Lets walk up to a preacher, and let us say I do. Then you'll know you'll have me, and I'll know that I'll have you."_

"We get the idea Fox," Dana said to stop his serenade.

"Does this mean…Everything is going well?" Maggie, although she understood their reasons for secrecy, was desperate to breach the taboo subject.

"Mom, you know why it had to be this way."

"I know my daughter was pregnant and now she's not and I have yet to see a child."

"Mom, please give us time. Everything is fine. You'll see." Dana caught her mother's gaze, trying to replace the experience she'd missed with words. "Trust us, when the time is right." She could not say more.

"I'm happy for you. Sorry, I am not more surprised, but I've thought of you two together for such a long time now," Maggie explained. "What happened with Charlie and Zoë? Is it part of everything else you're not talking about?"

"He and Zoë are working through some things." Dana gave a cryptic answer.

"They are not. At least not from what I see in the headlines." Maggie's eyes darted to the tabloid on the table.

"Don't believe everything you read."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Zoë turned her face so that the light could catch the single tear sliding down her cheek. Fortunately crying always came easily for her. He crossed to her, tucked the blanket around her and pulled her into his lap. "It's ok. We have gotten through tougher situations than this."

"No, no we haven't," she said tilting her head at the correct angle for the acoustics. "It has never been personal. It's never effected us, not like this."

"I won't let anything happen to you." The larger man whispered nuzzling her hair.

"You shouldn't be here. You promised Jane…"

"Jane isn't going to stop me from being with you."

"No, Jane's right. She's your girlfriend now." Zoë kept perfect timing with her counterpart.

"Shhh," he turned his lips into a kiss and pressed them against her forehead. "I choose you, Mischa. I'm in love with you."

Zoë looked into the camera, opened her eyes flexing the delicate muscles, which she knew would cause her pupils to dilate. She held her focus as Daniel leaned in slowly to kiss her.

Charlie watched from the flies. He had been to the set before so he had no trouble getting onto the soundstage. Zoë and Daniel continued to build their kiss, ultimately throwing back the covers, Daniel spinning around with her in his arms and tossing her back to the mattress before pulling them both to the floor. The scene would go over well in the bloopers reel. The techies were hollering and clapping. Daniel stood and helped Zoë up.

The oppositions she embodied once again occurred to Charlie. Who of the viewing audience would imagine that their poised, well dressed leading lady spent her days in loose fitting jeans and flip-flops, that the star of the show joined in equally with cast and crew.

"Hey Zoë." The set manager who had allowed him in called attention to Charlie. "Someone here to see you." He smiled and winked at her. Zoë nodded in the direction of her trailer and Charlie followed.

"Hey sweet pea." Zoë entered the dressing room and woke Emily who was sleeping on her couch.

"Charlie!" Emily reached up for a hug and Charlie picked her up.

"How've you been?"

"Good. Will you take me to the Trocadero?" She asked.

"Maybe, this weekend." Although Charlie had not seen Zoë for months he came round every couple of weeks for his niece.

"Phase one is complete," Charlie said by way of telling Zoë that their nephew had been born.

"Guess what Emily? That means Dana had her baby!" Zoë explained and Emily squealed.

"Zoë, we aren't suppose to speak about this." Charlie reminded her.

"What or Lord Voldemort will appear and swallow our souls?" Her sarcasm won the moment. "I don't govern my life with fear. If you can't celebrate joy when you're lucky enough to find it, you're already dead."

"What is the Baby's name?" Emily asked from Charlie's arms.

"Ian Alexander Raynard."

The little girl laughed. "Raynard after Mr. Fox. I told them that."

"Yes," Zoë answered kissing her daughter on the cheek. "But that is our secret. Now, I think they are ready for you in costume." Zoë leaned against her make-up counter arms crossed as Charlie put Emily down and she exited for the costume shop. Zoë turned to the counter and busied herself putting away tubes and compacts. "Is that the only reason you came by?" She kept her tone measured.

"No, I wanted to talk to you," Charlie said but she would not turn to him. "I'm sorry Zoë. I was upset but without you I'm miserable."

She turned to him. "It was my fault too Charlie. I should have told you." On impulse, she flung her arms around him.

"No, it was my fault. I got jealous. I forgot who you are. I can't make demands on you. I promised myself from the beginning that I would accept you unconditionally." His hands coursed through her hair.

"I only know I love you Charlie." Zoë pulled away to look at him. "That's enough isn't it?" She was stubborn in her refusal to see past intentions and into the complications of a committed romance. The fact that love could be controlling or damaging never occurred to her.

"Yes for us it will be." He caressed her back. She was such a careful study in mood and emotion, a consummate actress. Charlie wondered who the real Zoë was, in the absence of anyone else. He wondered if there were a real Zoë under the carefully crafted persona, under expectations of the people in her life. He didn't know which part of her to believe, passionate lover, devoted mother, scandalous celebrity. And so he selected that which he adored and ignored that which he found unsettling.

She began placing open-mouthed kisses along his neck, soon finding his mouth. She pushed him onto the sofa but as she unbuttoned his shirt he stopped her. "No. I want us to be different this time."

Zoë laughed not believing he could be serious. "Come on Charlie, make-up sex, it's the best kind."

"No, we've done the crazy, charge in head first thing. Let's try slow, and romantic."

Zoë rolled her eyes. "Isn't that in reverse order?" she asked trying once again to entice him with a kiss. "I have to go soon anyway. 'Graham Norton Show' tonight. I'm promoting _Sex, Drugs and Rock-N-Roll. _The movie, not the lifestyle. Come over later? Stay with me tonight."

"I'm serious about this Zoë. We need to get to know one another without passion clouding out judgment."

"I didn't mean that." She cast her eyes down, and if Charlie did not know her to be the most unashamed woman of his acquaintance he would have believed she was blushing. "I've missed you. I just want to be with you. Not sex."

"Ok. You go get ready for the show. I'll stay here for Emily if you like. I'll see you after you do Graham Norton," Charlie offered. "The talk show not the man." He clarified.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	13. Chapter 12

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Her complete ignorance of her prepossessing qualities only added to her charm. "You are sure about this? You know him," Skinner asked. They looked at Mulder a few yards away laughing with Maggie.

"Little late for that, you already married us. I am certain, Walter," Dana assured her former boss, yet even though no longer assigned to the X Files, no longer in the bureau his first name sounded strange to her. "This was his idea. Speaking of which. I didn't know A.D.s had the authority to officiate marriage ceremonies."

"We don't. He had his friends find an internet site which would ordain anyone for twenty bucks." Skinner explained. "But I doubt it will be recognized by the Catholic church."

"That's alright. A few Hail Marys and Father McCue will forgive me anything," Dana chuckled softly.

Mulder approached his new bride. "Ready?" Mulder asked her holding the marriage license in front of him. They walked over to their bench, the site of casual lunches, and clandestine meetings. It seemed appropriate that the location, which had played such a significant roll for them professionally and personally, should be the place where they finalized their commitment to one another. Mulder placed the document on the concrete surface signed his name and handed the pen to Dana.

The national mall was perhaps the most obvious and conspicuous location he could have chosen but he did not care who watched from a distance, who knew that they were married. In fact putting the ceremony out in the open likely worked to their advantage.

"This is the last time I will sign Dana Scully," she said as she slowly looped the pen across the page.

"No it isn't. We won't have to live in hiding forever. Just long enough for them to forget about us," Mulder assured her but they both knew they would never be forgotten, like a love affair gone scaldingly wrong they had left a trail of subterfuge, astonishment, and even blood in their wake that had stamped it's hallmark on the men who opposed them. "You'll be Dana Scully again."

"No, I'll be Dana Mulder." She gave him back his pen, smiling. She was lovely. Not the striking, superficial beauty that hit you at first glance but the steady, unfaltering quality that washed over you like a summer tide, purifying and strengthening all that it touched in an unending cycle. "Take me home," she whispered.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Mulder pulled into the space in the parking garage. Driving too quickly in his nervous condition, the car lurched as he hit the breaks. Dana was already pulling at the handle having taken off her seat belt a good five minutes before. She leaped from the car well before he'd switched off the ignition.

She had the small bundle snug in her arms before Mulder had his door open. "Thank you so much, Ellen. I don't know what would have happened without you." Dana carefully hugged her friend while holding her infant.

"It was nothing. He's a great baby. And I kept him on a schedule pretty well. He still needs to eat through the night at ten, two and six."

"I'm gonna miss the little tater." Ellen's husband Todd called as he helped Mulder move Ian's small bag and car seat from one vehicle to another. Mulder installed the seat in the back of his car trying to conceal the pride he found in the act of doing something to protect his son. He wanted to hold the child but after losing two months of motherhood, it would likely take an act of congress to remove the baby from Dana's arms.

"Here as promised." Having successfully completed the task Mulder joined the others and handed Todd a large brown folder. "This contains the airline tickets, hotel reservations and the forged passports in our name."

"Yes and thank you for the vacation," Ellen beamed. "Two weeks in the tropics sounds like heaven."

"Vacation. You are taking our honeymoon. You have to behave like newlyweds or it will give us away," Mulder teased the couple.

"Well it might be a stretch but we'll see what we can do," Todd assured him. "Oh yes the adoption papers." Todd returned to his car and brought back his brief case.

"You are sure about this?" Ellen asked. "I know that he will live with you but this will give us complete custody."

"Yes," Mulder and Scully replied in tandem.

"You know that you are our back up plan. If anything suspicious happens you are on call," Mulder reminded Todd and Ellen. Todd opened the case and got the documents.

"Yes we have all of the numbers and the cell phones your friends gave us," Ellen said. "But we will need him in six months. The social worker will want to check on him. That is if you want this adoption to be official."

"You will need him sooner than that Ellen. You have to take him to his check-ups. I won't be able to authorize immunizations for him," Dana said as she added the signature of the alias they had created to be Ian's birth mother, Alma Raynard. "Honestly, Fox the names you choose."

"Stop complaining. I let you pick the names we're living under. Paul and Lily Darcy? Is there a more obvious way to say, 'I read way too much Jane Austin?'" Mulder mock quarreled with her.

"He might be a little fussy. He has gotten use to us," Ellen added.

"Thanks for all you've done for us. We owe you our first born, literally." Mulder shook Todd's hand followed by Ellen's.

"You guys leave first. You have to make it to the gate," Dana said. "We'll give you fifteen minutes."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX


	14. Epilogue

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Emily hopped of the double-decked bus at Piccadilly and entered the noisy thorough fair. Her mother had been watching and ran to embrace her. At that moment a camera flashed. Emily pulled away shot the photographer her middle finger and a 'go to hell' expression.

"Emily!" Dana grabbed her hand and pulled it down.

"Zoë taught me that," Emily_ boasted. _

_"You know that picture will end up on the front page." Holding her daughter's hand Dana navigated the traffic to the tearoom. _

_"Don't be cross. We don't have enough time together for you to be cross." _

_"I'm not cross," Dana said but they remained silent until they reached Richoux. _

_"I lost a part I was up for this morning." Emily told her._

_"I'm sorry, what happened?" Dana held the door and they entered the tearoom._

_"They want an older actress so they can show nudity. I'm still a minor."_

_Dana blanched, as she thought of her daughter naked on a large screen in a theater with hundreds of people watching. "You wouldn't want to do that would you?"_

_"This way ma'am. Your table is waiting." The maitre'd ushered them to a booth already set with a proper English tea. _

_Emily shrugged as she sat. "I guess not. It's just…"_

_"It's just what?"_

_"Zoë does it."_

_"Zoë does a lot of things that she and I would both prefer you not to do." Dana poured out two cups of tea._

_"I know Mum. It's ok. I love her, but sometimes it's more like living with a teenage sister. I'm more like you. I want to be more like you." Over the years Dana had occasionally been called in to settle disputes between the two. "There's this guy." Emily brought about the real topic, the real reason she was eager to take on a mature, sophisticated role. _

_"A guy?" Dana drew in a breath not ready for 'guy' talks, as it occurred to her this golden-headed moppet was fourteen. Yes fourteen was old enough for complications regarding the opposite gender._

_"I thought he was cute. I kind of liked him."_

_"Well, does he like you?" Dana added milk to her tea._

_"No. I thought he did. He likes Zoë. He came over to the house and all he did was clock her. She takes her clothes off in almost every film she's in. I know he's seen her movies. Every guy in my school has. How can I compete with that?" Emily added sugar to her cup and stirred._

_"You don't."_

_"Thanks. That doesn't help."_

_"They'll get over her. They'll realize that she'll never look at them as anything other than kids." Dana took a sip of her tea and leaned in. "I had an older prettier sister."_

_"Yeah," Emily bit into a cucumber sandwich._

_"And the guy I liked followed her round like a wet nosed puppy. But she went off to college. Things changed." Dana cut into a scone and dolopped it with a generous amount of clotted cream. "When she came home for Thanksgiving she caught us making out in the study."_

_"You making out? What happened?"_

_"She never called me Flats Domino again." Dana laughed at her joke. Emily was not amused. "You can't rush these things. It takes time. You'll get older. Your body will mature. The guys will mature. But undressing in a movie is not the answer." _

_"Did you bring the double T's?" Emily asked._

_"Double T's?"_

_"Terrible Terrors."_

_"Yes, they're at your Zoë's flat right now, terrorizing I'm sure." Dana added strawberry jam to the pastry and passed half to Emily._

_"I want to take them to the park in Battersea, before we leave."_

_"You know your Dad couldn't make it this year." Dana poured more tea into their cups. "He's taken on a new case. A little boy. His father had some mafia connections. The family were found murdered and he was a witness. They're afraid for his safety although Adam doesn't remember what happened. He claims his family was abducted by extraterrestrials." Dana spoke openly to her daughter, a quality she learned from Zoë's example. "Anyway Fox needs to be there to adjust the medication and help him."_

_"I know. He told me. Dad signed me out of school last month and took me to the Natural History Museum. Did you know he was coming to London?" Emily bit into the scone and closed her eyes and the fruity, creamy flavor flooded her mouth. _

_"No."_

_"I think he does it on purpose."_

_"What?" _

_"I think he likes taking the most difficult cases. The ones that are new…you know, areas of psychology that no one knows about yet. The ones that are the most unusual and demanding."_

_"You think?" Dana quipped. It seemed silly to her that there had been a time when she worried over him giving up the X Files. As though someone as brilliant and motivated as Fox Mulder could only be happy working for the FBI investigating paranormal activity. He found ample challenge and interest in his work as a psychiatrist and all from the safety and comfort of a soft leather chair in his office in their home in Fairfax. "Emily I wish you would reconsider working in the hospital. They all love you at the school. You've always been a big help there." _

_"You promised."_

_"I know but I'm not sure you're ready for the things you'll see. There are children, sick and dying, kids younger than you. I'm afraid of the feelings it might bring up." For five years Dana had worked for Doctors Without Borders. She and Emily and Zoë spent every summer in Africa._

_"Stop Mum. I'm fine. I think it's going to be harder for you than me." _

_"Just remember if it's too much you can always help out at the school." Yes all in all Dana was happy with her life. "Do you ever wish…things were different?" She asked Emily._

_"How do you mean?"_

_"That you had a more conventional family."_

_"No, I mean at first it was hard because I wanted to be with all of you all of the time…but it got easier once you had Ian and Trevor. Then I felt better because they could stay with you when I left. I think I'm lucky. You know I'm glad Zoë and Charlie finally got married but, they spend so much time apart, she's always on location." Emily took a sip of her tea. "You and Fox have always felt more like a family. All of our traditions and goofy stuff we do, and the boys." She replaced her cup on the saucer. "Zoë told me what you did."_

_"What did I do?" Dana said as she finished a cucumber sandwich._

_"How you saved me…with the implant…and it might have killed you."_

_"You're my daughter, Emily. I'd do anything for you."_

_"Mum…am I old enough to ask you…were you and Dad trying to have Trevor? I mean I know you were with Ian but you didn't think it would work."_

_"Who told you that?"_

_"Dad."_

_"He wanted Trevor but I was too scared I didn't want to go through everything I had with Ian. I wanted a hospital, safety, painkillers." They both chuckled. "I refused to try. It was a difficult time. I never thought Fox would fight so much for another child. But he had been there for me when I wanted a baby no questions, just unconditional support."_

_"So what happened?"_

_"I do work at a hospital. Over time I found people I could trust. People who could deliver a baby and keep our secret." _

_"Do you ever miss me, when we aren't together?"_

_"Of coarse I do. But I keep busy. When we can't have the quantity of time with the people we love we have to make up for it in quality."_

_"Yes, like having tea? It's always nice to share with someone you love. Right Mum?" Emily smiled again resting her head on her mother's shoulder, and spilling a few shortbread crumbs down Dana's shirt. But Dana didn't mind after the messes, stains and bruises of raising two toddlers her body had long since stopped being her sanctuary. She silently rejoiced at the itchy sensation of the crumbs and the weight of her daughter's head on her shoulder._

_"Those are the best moments in my life." _

_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_


End file.
